American McGee’s Grimm

[Kid]
Come on Mr. Grimm, tell us a story!

[Girl]
Story, YAY!

[Grimm]
Eugh! There's too much light. My blessed myths, forsaken!

These fairy tales are much too clean
So dull and dry, a lifeless dream
I'll brew 'em bleak, I'll craft them dark
To make them Grimm, that's my whole mark!

My guts fill up with pretty tales
Their prissy cuteness never fails
To make me puke, to lose my wit
To rot my teeth and give me fits

Love the rancid, stale and foul
Despise the happy ending
Gross and nasty make me houl
Though they may be offending

I'm here to build true tales of blight
Of fear and woe, bring back the night
I hate dumb luck, adore uptuck
My humble goal is to run amok!

[2nd part]
[Grimm]
These hoary tales have lost their scene
And now you know what Grimm means
I've toyed with gods, I've frightened queens
Told Jack where to shove those wretched beans

Nixed wedding bells and festive cheer
Killed happy endings, they're so queer!
Queasy and measly and a shot with a sneer
Rather be dead that to show and fear!

Pimped for evil, pissed on the poor
Punched dumb royals, defiled with gore
Bathed in blood, cuddled huge rats
Punished tens of deserving brats

I spread true darkness far and wide
When my night reigns, you'll quake and hide
Beg for relief to turn the tide
Whoops, too late, you're smoked, you're fried!

Socked some priests, others I fleeced
Ruined several obnoxious feasts
What joy to cause painful decease
Of hypocrite, foul, two-faced beasts!

So now, you see, I've set things right
I came, I saw, snuffed out the bright
Tales torn to shreds, but I can't rest
There's now such more to infest!