America’s a Nice Italian Name

I live in Italy, the sky is sunny
'T'sa nice-a place. 't'sa nice-a place
And if you think the way I talk is funny
Shaddup-a you face. Shaddup-a you face
America to me is not so foreign
It's just the same. She's just the same
Of course you have-a no got Sophia Loren
Don't be ashamed, don't be ashamed

Bella, bella, atsa means-a cute
Vespa, Vespa, atsa motor scoot
And if you in a nice-a mood for some-a nice Italian food
Veal with cheese-a on it is Veal Parmigiana

The opera house in Rome is called La Scala
Is very strange. Is very strange
Ten thousand lira makes a half-a-dolla
You getta some change. You getta some change
In Venice if you do a lotta driving
Then don't-a forget, please don't forget
Before you drive, go study scuba diving
The streets is-a wet. The streets is-a wet

Vino, vino, atsa glass-a wine
You drink Yousef, I'll-a drink-a mine
Vittorio DeSica makes a picture twice-a week-a
Soup with macaroni is called-a minnestrone

I wrote to Anna Maria Alberghetti
She sings-a high. Up very high
I typed the letter on my Olivetti
I don't know why. I took a try
Dean Martin, he's a nice Italian fella
A friend of Frank's. A friend of Frank's
If you give them a piece of mozzarella
They tell you thanks. A thousand thanks

Dolce, dolce, dolce means-a sweet
Grapes is-a things-a you stamp with you feet
The Tower of Pisa, she's-a lean. A Necchi is a sewin' machine
Eat-a some lasagna, but-a don't get any on ya

A nice-a painter was Botticelli
He's very old, he's very old
He's-a paint a lady with a naked belly
She caught a cold. She caught a cold
I know a man who wrote a song, "Volare"
He gotta cash. A lotta cash
He took-a da cash and bought a new Ferrari
He made a crash. His fender smash

Gina, Gina Lollobrigida
I love her, but que sera sera
And if you see Anna Magnani with Marcello Mastroianni
Ask if you could borra some spaghetti marinara

Columbus was a nice Italian fella
He had no boats. He needed some boats
So he's fool around with Queen Isabella
She hadda three boats. She give him the boats
The queen, she said, "Columbus, pootchy-wootchy
If you should land in some new land
Please name it for Americus Vespucci
'Cause he's a nice Italian man

Nina, Pinta, and-a Saint Marie
Fourteen-a ninety-two they sailed the sea
They found the land and it was grand, and then Columbus he's proclaim:
"I call this land America, a nice Italian name."

(And that's-a why America's a nice Italian name.)