Amend

I've thought about your death about a dozen times
Wondering if I'd feel grief or relief
Would I cry at all?
Or would shock consume me?
Electrocute me til I go numb
Or would time stand still, soul fulfilled
Would I lose my will to carry on?
Will to carry on

If I awake and you've left before the dawn
Would I realize I loved you more than I let on?
Did you think of me before you met your end?
I pray there wasn't much left to amend

I know it's selfish but it's safe to say I'm scared
That you'd leave without knowing how much I truly cared
I'm sorry for the pain, I'm sorry I was weak
I'm sorry I'm so fucking stubborn and we didn't speak

If I awake and you've left before the dawn
Would I realize I loved you more than I let on?
Did you think of me before you met your end?
I pray there wasn't much left to amend

I won't pretend
I won't pretend
I won't pretend I'm proud of a bitter end