Altered Boy

[Intro]
Aloha, you know, some people ask me
"Jimmy, where do you come up with those ideas for some of those songs?"
Well, this particular song got its initial inspiration from a visit to the Tonga Room
In the beautiful Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco
For those of you who may be geographically-impaired, San Francisco is in California, the gateway to the Pacific
And if you look out across the Golden Gate Bridge to those beautiful and tranquil waters
You can imagine that in the thousands of islands that dot the surface of the Pacific from California to Hong Kong
Somewhere out there, there are still bands
Who play music like this and just can't stop

[Verse 1]
Oh no, he's buying an island
Oh no, he's building a boat
Why does he never stop smiling?
Fun surrounds him like a deep moat

[Verse 2]
Where does he get all those stories?
How can he tell such a lie?
He's bound to see purgatory
His views are in short supply

[Chorus]
But Peter Pan would understand
His schemes and dreams and ploys
Best keep an eye on his sleight hand
He such an altered boy

[Verse 3]
Good God, he's talking with parrots
Painting his dreams in the sand
Piling up beaucoup demerits
Doing it just 'cause he can

[Verse 4]
By Jove, he's having a cocoa
Evading those judgmental eyes
Calmly walking his tight rope
High above all the outcries

[Chorus]
But Peter Pan would understand
His schemes and dreams and ploys
Best keep an eye on his sleight hand
He such an altered boy

[Verse 5]
The story goes
He stumbled at the alter
Now it seems he just blasphemes
And dwells with danger's daughter

[Verse 6]
Someone call the talking doctor
Somebody get a SWAT team
There he sits getting away with murder
How dare him live out his dreams

[Chorus]
But Peter Pan would understand
His schemes and dreams and ploys
Best keep an eye on his sleight hand
He such an altered boy

[Outro]
Oh no, he's sailing today
Oh no, beware Paraguay
Oh no, anchors aweigh
Oh no
Excuse me, waiter
Do you think I could have another one of those Singapore slings?
Mahalo
Oh no, anchors aweigh
They just can't stop