ALONE

Which one of my demons ran off with my self confidence?
Which one of my problems took off with my self worth?
Stuck inside a race for lost time and acknowledgement
Hoping for a future, I ain't tryna die first
My mind is the land of the lost and reckless
Directions that I took when I lost a checklist
And problems I ignored tryna write up setlists
My head inside a capsule, cost effective but
It fried my brain up, my insides caged up
Every day was praying I could reinstate my main one
Every night was tripping off emotions that resulted in me
Wasting all my pay stubs, still I didn't pay much
Mouth of a sailor, and mind of a child
When you live your whole life in denial don't be surprised
When your mind takes a turn tryna drown in the Nile
And I'm still tryna count up the times I didn't try and blamed
Everybody else for my trials, might as well start digging my grave
Gimme a suit and a tie, and let me climb up inside, eulogizing my life
My dry bones still opposed to a smile
Lying on that tile floor stone cold like "Who I'm 'sposed to be now?"
Losing faith in any growth that I had hoped would be bound
Each mistake I made superimposed to all my family and foes
I reached a point where I just hoped to be drowned
Thinking "Boy you've been alone for the longest"
Searching for a chrome I could hold, just
Wishing for my passing or patronus
Home gets further away
And I'm still getting younger with age
Throw a fist in my face