​all or nothing

[Verse]
Somebody please tell me why
Everything that I love is like
Dead flowers in the winter time
And how to dissappear completely
I'll tell myself
It can't get any worse
But it always seems
All of the right things
End up being wrong
And every single time
I try to give my all
It stabs me in the back
And what I think I want
Quickly slips away

I loosen my tight grip
My feelings never mattered
You make it pretty clear
I'll guess I'll just leave you over there
Just like you want me to
I still hate myself
For the failed attempts
Can't get close anymore
Or to anyone
I knew it all along
But it's something I love
The feelings that we shared
The time we spent was real
At least it was to me
I second guess myself
Now I can't get a word
All I get's the cold shoulder
It was new now it's over
I've got myself to blame
So you don't feel anything, reality is pain
Just like trial and error
When every try ends in fervor
And don't you fucking forget
I think I'll always remember
We could've got to November
If we both really tried
I put myself aside
You told yourself to hide
All my efforts futile
I always come up short
I'm in the clouds for a while
You're on an even ground
I hope you hear this sound
And start to understand
That we were more than friends
But in the end
It was all or it was nothin'

But I thought it was somethin'
I prove myself wrong again
I start right where I'd begin
But I thought it was somethin'
I prove myself wrong again
I start right where I'd begin
But in the end, it was all or nothin'