Alive and Well

[Verse 1]
Alive and well
Back then my priority was to save myself
Knew I had to get my head straight for I went all out to go chase the wealth always seein' through it
3 am when we would get into it
Mama cried like every night I didn't mean to do it
She just wanna know what I'm doin' but I don't tell her though
Whenever I tried explainin's like she seen a ghost
That's why don't say nothin' keepin' my eyes low just like they hoped
Since high school it was me and C
Listenin' motivation tapes while we on the way to get somethin' to eat
Tryin' to drown this anxiety
Questionin' these old views lookin' at the man like who the fuck are you
Fuck up out my way I ain't got shit to lose
Mo'fucka I got shit to prove
Remember walkin' in New York on my birthday
Moms was still tryna get me to live her way
Strollin' round time square feelin' boxed in with my soul drained
Tired of fightin' they fears ain't gon' carry no more dead weight
Wrote two verses on the plane back home on some lonesome shit
Sent the demo to Kora, she gave a hook, then we dropped that shit
Somehow in the first week it hit 20k
Universe by my side now I could finally show mom some change
Tensions high like everyday
But a lil' blue peekin' through the grey just validated the way we movin'
Wasn't tryna still be student
Demons on me them shits be ruthless
Think I gave my two sense about ten times
Slowly shiftin' they paradigm
I been adjusted to the fuckin' fights
February 2017 was the second time I tried to drop out
The first time I was 17 and I choked up and I tapped out

Okay but now it's fuck the past I'ma get it right no fucks given
Tears shed every single day holdin' my position
Family my opposition
Even grandma begged me to listen
They just hung up on old tradition
I won't pay attention let alone tuition
Need to get it this fuckin' instance
Always claimin' that I'm delusional
Is what it is I'm not froze I'm blessed
On house arrest 'till I need to leave then I'm gettin' faded
Just to ease the stress I don't feel enough
Woke up faded always down too much
Friends got they own niche need a goodnight that's when we all get in touch

Fuck around and then it's back to business
Need my balance but they don't get it
Lookin' at me like I'm pathetic
That shit she talk I'm not interested
I'm interjectin' tryna cut a deal
Gimme two fuckin' years to show that this shit is real
I'ma go and make what you make off the music and then see how you feel
Took a second
Said you only got two years to go make it happen
May 2019 if you ain't made it then you gotta quit the rappin'
Finally they done quit the yappin'
Finally I can get to actions
Prayin' this whole fuckin' mess gon' work out and be worth the damage