Africa

It’s nice to have pride about your shit. I went home to the motherland. Everybody should go home. To Africa. Everybody, especially black people. Really, man, there is so much to see there… tor the eye and the heart of the black people. White people. You’ll go there and you’ll get ideas. “Well. That’s the way black people in America should be… walking around with sticks.” You’ll get the wrong idea. But, man… I was gonna find my roots. Right? Seven hundred million black people. Not one of them motherfuckers knew me. I looked in every phone book in Africa. I didn’t find one goddamn Pryor. I saw one familiar name: J-Bone Walker. I called that up. They say he’s in Arizona. But there’s nothin’ like goin’ and seein’ nothin’ but black. Black people. From the wino to the president. It’s black people. And it’s. Like, fair. You know what I mean? You go someplace. You’re on liberated land. I said, “These motherfuckers kick ass and got their country. And I’m on the land. It’s black people.” I mean. Black. Original black. You understand “black”? I mean. So many black people, it made me realize… somebody in my family had been lying to me. It’s nice. As you land at the airport. You look out the window… and see the black people and say. “Oh. Wow!” People are the same. The people in Africa fuck over your luggage… just like the people in New York. You know what’s funny? To walk down the street… and see white people looking tor each other. They’d be surrounded, and… Every black person I saw there seemed to remind me of someone from here. I’d walk down the street and go, “That motherfucker looked like Joe Frazier!” I’d say, “Goddamn!” He’d be the president of the bank. I’d go, “Goddamn! I wish Joe Frazier could see this motherfucker!” Or someone here. Like, is a wino… you see him over there. They be a diplomat. You go, “Willie the wino! Goddamn! Get down, Willie!” This was. I don’t know. Special to me, man. I went to the jungle, the real jungle. Not that shit Tarzan live in. Tarzan wouldn’t last a week in Africa. “Where’s Tarzan?” “You mean the crazy white man? He in the trees with cheetah.” “Where’s Jane?” “She whoring in Nairobi.” ‘Cause when you go out in the bush… you see animals… I mean, animals that are tree look different… than that shit we see in the zoo. You know them animals you fuck over at the zoo? You see the lion at the zoo. You be talkin’ about… You walk by. “Hey. Lion.” I like the monkeys in the zoo. ‘Cause they throw their shit on you. They’d be pickin’ and shit. They watch you, and one of ’em go… And then everybody laughs. “Oh, he’s so cute. Oh, aren’t the monkeys cute?” Why do people think bears are happy in the zoo? “Look at the bear. He’s so happy.” Motherfucker’s talkin’ about… “Let me out. Just give me a break. If I could get a hand on one of you motherfuckers. Oh. I’ll tear your ass up. I ain’t had no pussy in 12 years! Send me a motherfuckin’ panda. Bitch ain’t even got a pussy. They’re wonderin’ why we ain’t got no babies” But in the jungle, if you see a rabbit you get nervous. ‘Cause a rabbit be lookin’ at you… “Roll the window up. Dear.” “It’s just a rabbit.” “Fuck you. Ain’t no rabbit ever looked at me like that.” And you see a lion in the jungle, that’s what they look like… lions. Motherfucker be in the bush talkin’ about… “Yeah. Get your ass out of the car. And bring that camera with you. ‘Cause we gonna eat all that shit.” I saw three lionesses chase down. Like, a cape buffalo. That’s the baddest motherfucker on four legs… except for these bitches chasin’ it. And the lionesses. They work around in teams. Give signals You know they can’t talk. And the buffalo saw one of them, right? He tipped away from the rest of the herd. And them two others jumped on his ass. The other buffalo said… “The motherfucker didn’t warn us. Fuck him.” And you know how a buzzard circles in the movies? These motherfuckers drove up in a truck. Talkin’ about. “What it is?” Cheetah, man, is the weirdest thing to see go chase something… ’cause you don’t see nothin’ but dust. I saw two cheetahs. It looked like they were talkin’… about jumpin’ on some gazelle. “You want to go after that herd?” “Say, nah. Man, they’re too close. Shit. Why don’t we give ’em another 100 yards. How’s the wife and family. Man? You know. It’s gonna be tourist season soon. I got an arm last year. They’re about far enough. You ready?” The gazelles and shit hear them motherfuckers. They’d be eating and hear ’em and just start runnin’. They wouldn’t even look. “Run!” And the motherfucker that can’t hear is in trouble. “What?” “Cheetah!” “Huh?” “Cheetah!” “What?” “Cheetah!” “What’d you say?” “It’s your ass!” “I got ya.” I saw one of them gazelles make a move on a cheetah. It was embarrassing. The cheetah got pissed off too… ’cause he was ready to get the gazelle. And the gazelle said… And that motherfucker tell 400 yards trying to stop. And got up: “I’m gonna get you. Motherfucker. Make me look bad” We picked up a hitchhiker one day. An African man got in the car. And he had that odor. You know? This motherfucker had odor! He was in the car. You be drivin’. That odor was… And he’d lean over to point… And you’d be, you know… “Goddamn! I know my people. But goddamn!” And I looked in the rear view mirror. And this motherfucker was goin’… “Oh, shit! That motherfuckin’ cologne and shit they got on. Stinkin’ motherfuckers. Boy. I don’t know how I can take this shit.” He had his head out the window tryin’ to get air and shit. He’s goin’. “Goddamn!” He just ended up makin’ us stop. “Let me out of this motherfucker. I’ll walk. Fuck it. You motherfuckers stink. Kiss my ass.” One thing I got out of it was magic. I’d like to share it with you. I was leavin’, and I was sittin’ in the hotel… and a voice said to me. “Look around. What do you see?” And I said. “I see all colors of people doing everything.” And the voice said, “Do you see any niggers?” And I said. “No.” And it say. “You know why? ‘Cause there aren’t any.” And it hit me like a shot, man. I started cryin’ and shit. I was sittin’ there and said… “Yeah. I’ve been here three weeks. I haven’t even said it. I haven’t even thought it.” And it made me say. “Oh. My God. I’ve been wrong. I’ve been wrong. I’ve got to regroup my shit.” I said, “I ain’t gonna never call another black man a nigga.” You know. ’cause we never was no niggers. That’s a word that’s used to describe our own wretchedness. And we perpetuate it now, ’cause it’s dead. That word’s dead. We’re men and women. We come from the first people on the Earth. You know? The first people on the Earth were black people. ‘Cause anthropologists… white anthropologists… The white people go. “That could be true, you know.” Yeah. Dr. Leakey and them found people remains… five million years ago in Africa. You know them motherfuckers didn’t speak French. So black people, we the first people that had thought. We were the first ones to say. “Where the fuck am I? And how do you get to Detroit?” So you can take it for what it’s worth. I ain’t tryin’ to preach. I’m just talkin’ about my feelings about it. And I don’t want them hip white people calling me no nigga… or telling me nigga jokes. I don’t like it. I’m just fellin’ you it’s uncomfortable to me. I don’t like it when black people say it to me. I really don’t no more. It’s nothin’. It don’t mean nothin’. So I love you all, and you can take that with you. I guess you all say…