Adventures of Super Rhyme (Rap)

Rhymes faster than a speeding bullet
Has more rhymes than a train has tracks
Able to leap sucker MCs in a single rhyme
Look at the jam on the mic
“It's a bird! It's a plane!”
No—I'm Su-Su-Super Rhymes

It’s the new thing, makes you want to swing
While us MCs rap, doing our thing
It’s not singing, like it used to be
No, it’s rapping to the rhythm of the sure shot beat
It goes one for the money, two for the show
You got my beat, now here I go
You see, this DJ, he gets down
Mixing records while they go round
With the hid-dip, the hop, you just don’t stop
You rock to the beat ‘til it makes you drop

Yes, I’m one of a kind, I’m Super Rhymes
And I’d like to say hello
And since I’m on the mic and I’m ready to rock
This is how it goes
Yes, I rock so good, I rock so well
I ring-ding-dang-a-ding-ding-a-dang, baby
I'll ring your bell
Yes, I’m Super Rhymes, I’m twenty-two
I want to be a hundred before I’m through
Because no, I didn’t come from the planet Earth
Planet Rhyme-on is my place of birth
From the day I came out my mother’s womb
I found myself in the operating room
Then the doctor spanked me on my behind
I didn’t cry, the kid started to rhyme
My mother said, “Son, that’s the way it should be
Your name is Super Rhymes, you’ll be an MC”
So then my father put me on a meteorite
Sent me to Earth to rock the mic
I got to Earth and started laying it down
At the jam on the mic, I could be found
While I was at the jam this one time
Rocking to the beat, said I’m feeling fine
Just-a freaking out on the freak’s behind
I looked in the face of Frankenstein
I said, “Oh, no, she’s not mine”
Because my woman is fine as wine
And she goes by the name of Lois Line
But she didn’t come here with me this time
I’m feeling real sad, but not that bad
I’m-a have to run away from this crow-dad
I ran to the deejay to rock the mic
He said, “Super Rhymes, take it, do what you like”
So I rocked the party viciously
This guy I didn’t know walked up to me
But the closer he got, the more I could tell
It was the man they call Coward Hosell
The guy you’d see on KBC
While Joe Frazier boxed Muhammad Ali
He said, “Excuse me, sir, are you Super Rhymes?
The one with the fine woman Lois Line?”
I said, “I am—will I be on TV
Like the float-like-a-butterfly, stinging Ali?”
He said, “Yes, my man, if you show me you can
I was told you had the master plan”
So I rocked the mic for Howard Cosell
To show America how I rocked so well
And while I rocked the mic, this is what I said
About Dracula, the living dead
He didn't like blood, not this vampire
The disco beat was his desire
Transylvania’s where he made home
Until one day he decided to roam
And then out of the crypt he did crawl
Count Dracula is what he’s called
He said, “The sun's gone down, and now it’s night
I'm going to spread my wings and take a serious flight
I turned into a bat, I flew away
I said at the disco is where I got to stay
Because back home, there was nothing like this
In Transylvania this is what I’d miss
They just bite necks and suck blood all day
When I knew there had to be a better way
I packed my coffin, said, ‘Vampires, I am leaving’
So I turned into a bat and cut out that evening
The first disco I hit was 54
They didn't even want to let me in the door
I said, ‘Listen, my man, I am a real cool guy
I can turn into a bat, I can even fly’
He said, ‘Dracula, you can do all of that
Then come on in and catch a need-a freak attack’
So I went inside and I started to dance
And had all the ladies waiting for their chance
They said, ‘Isn’t he cool with his widow’s peak
And the strange way he does the Freak?’”
He said, “Where I come from it’s not called the Freak
Its the Transylvania Boogie, seven days a week”
I didn’t get to dance with them all that night
'Cause at the break of dawn I saw sunlight
I said, “I’m sorry to say I cannot stay
'Cause us vampires must be in before it turns day
But don’t forget, I'll be back
I like it when I catch a need-a freak attack
And since you heard my story, it’s time I be leaving
In Transylvania we say ‘good evening’”
Mr. Hosell said, “Damn, that’s good
You’ll be on TV in every neighborhood”
He said, “Super Rhymes, you’re a real MC
We must put you on KBC”
I said, I’ll dress to impress, won’t claim I’m best
I’ll come a little better than all the rest
Because I never come with any less
Than all the rhymes that will pass the test
Because I’m cool as ice, I’m twice as nice
I never had an off-day in my life
You see, I take all your money, bust out your wife
Make you dance to my beat all your life
'Cause when I get in my stuff and I start to rhyme
The sucker MCs hide every time
Because my voice is baritone
And I really don’t need no microphone
But I use one anyway
To make sure the ladies hear what I say
And from here to there they hear my voice
The ladies hear me, I am their choice
Because my hair’s more wavy than there’s ships in the Navy
And they use a boat to stay afloat
To put hickeys all over my throat
Because I am so cool…

Because I’m cool as snow, I’m like savoir-faire
I’m the man you can find anywhere
Because I’m cooler than cold, I’m hotter than heat
I rock to the rhythm of the funky beat
Because I got what it takes
To make everybody want to break
You see I got-a what it take
I take it, make you want to break
Breaker one (breaker one), breaker two (breaker two)
I said-uh, this is what I want to say to all of you
Go and telephone or tell a friend
The man known as Super Rhymes is back again
And all you fly guys, I’ll tell you this
I’ll take your fly girls with one kiss
Because I take the fly girls, put ‘em in check
I got my love potion all around they neck
They’ve heard my voice and they know my name
They know within me there burns a flame
That I’m MC man headed straight for fame
I got a Coupe DeVille, diamond rings
I even got fur coats and gold plate things
'Cause I’m the man of the hour, too sweet to be sour
The ladies know I’m the man with the power
And now that you know a little more about me
This is how I rocked KBC
You see, deep in the desert, the city Baghdad
Aladdin was the boy, a magic lamp he had
Aladdin was to rub it and soon find out
That the lamp had magic and a genie, no doubt
He rubbed the lamp, the genie appeared
But you really couldn’t see him ‘til the green smoke cleared
Well, the smoke was gone and there he stood
The tallest damn cat in the neighborhood
He said, “Where I come from I committed a crime
For every little thing you must serve time
But if my lamp was rubbed I’d be set free
But otherwise within the lamp I stay eternally
And Aladdin, I say thanks to you
You rubbed my lamp, now my sentence is through
And Aladdin, your wish is my command
I’m sorry, but you only get three, my man”
He said, “Genie, my first wish would be
To go to the year 1980”
”Hocus pocus,” said the genie, “I'll do that”
Aladdin looked around, saw where he was at
He said, “Damn, things aren’t the same
I wonder if Aladdin is still my name
But it’s nice to be in ‘80
And I got to say thanks to you, genie”
He said, “There’s nothing to it, I used to do it
Just about everyday
Until I went to court, I got put in the lamp
And the judge to take the spell away
But then you came along, made right my wrong
You rubbed my lamp and you set me free”
He said, “You used one wish, and you got two left
Aladdin, tell me what’s it going to be?”
He said, “Genie, in this society
You must have the green stuff called money”
So “hocus pocus” said the genie, “here’s a million bucks
To take it all with you here’s an armored truck”
“Thanks,” said Aladdin, “Genie, you’re a real champ
But for a little while get back in your lamp”
The genie said, “Aladdin, yes, I’ll do that
But you got another wish, now I’ll be back”
So with a puff of smoke the genie was gone
Aladdin said, “A new millionaire is born”
Well, with all that money he made more money
Aladdin was doing swell
You see, my man Aladdin, he got smart, you see
Invested money into an oil well
But then one day he said, “I'm tired
Of making the desert scene”
He said, “I got to get away, I got to go to the disco
Find the freak of my dream”
So he took control of his private jet
His magic lamp and money he could not forget
Yes, he got to the disco, danced and screamed
But still couldn’t find the freak of his dream
But then she came, through the door
The baddest freak Aladdin said he ever saw
He said, “Wow! I got to get that girl!
Her love is worth anything in the world”
She was a 38-24-35
Aladdin was attracted like a bee to a hive
Aladdin walked up, said, “Hello”
She looked him up and down and said, “You know where you can go”
He said, “Come on, baby, don’t play no game
I’m called Aladdin, tell me, what’s your name?”
Well, out of all the things Aladdin tried
She said, “Listen, sucker, take a carpet ride”
Aladdin said, “I know what to do
I call on my genie with a spell for you
So then he rubbed the lamp, the genie came back out
The genie said, “Aladdin, what you’re fussing about”
He said, “Genie, I rocked, I said I’d be her man
I tried to do it to her cause I thought I can
It was then that I met this girl
Who said she wouldn’t freak me for nothing in the world”
Out of all the things that Aladdin thought
She told him a body just couldn’t be bought
So Aladdin said, “At 4:50
I know you’re coming to this bank with me”
But the freak told him no
And my main man Aladdin, he told her so
He said, “I grab my partner do-si-do
I spank her to the beat, but don’t let go
Until I hear her holler ‘yo, yo’”
To the beat, beat, check it out
The genie said, “Aladdin, I agree
This freak has got a vicious body
But that wish will be your last one
After I do it, my job is done”
The genie said, “Your wish is my command
She’ll be your girl, you’ll be her man”
So he crossed his arms, said a magic word
A “hocus pocus” is what you heard
He said, “Aladdin, she belongs to you
Take her home and do what you want to do
But now it’s time that I leave
I pull my magic carpet down out my sleeve
I’m going to climb aboard, I’m going to fly away
Back to Baghdad, that’s where I’ll stay”
So Aladdin looked up, said goodbye
He watched the magic carpet and the genie fly
Now this is the end of this little tale
It’s time I keep rocking, the genie’s out of jail
So when I say “rock,” you say “roll”
When I say “ice,” then you say “cold”
Then when I say “disco,” you say “the beat”
I say “it’s like honey,” then you say “it’s sweet”
I say “rock”—“roll”
I say “ice”—“cold”
Say “disco”—“the beat”
“Like honey”—“it’s sweet”
Now you know my name, you know my game
Compared to me there’s none the same
Because I got a funky groove, I'm going to make your body move
Because I got what it take-a-take to make you want to break-a-break-a
Breaker one (breaker one), breaker two (breaker two)
I said you heard my jam, now catch the boogaloo flu
'Cause I'm Super Rhymes with disco
I rock from here to Frisco
I make you hate your video
While I rock your mind in stereo
So kick off your shoes, relax your feet
You're going to move to my beat that sound so sweet
Because it's all of you I do adore
And I got so much and more in store
Cause all through the day, through the night
I sit down and new rhymes I write
Because this DJ, he gets down
Mixing records while they go round
With the hid-dip, the hop, you just don't stop
You bop to the beat till it makes you drop
Because I rock so good, I rock so well
I ring-a-ding-a-dang-a-ding-ding-a-dang
Baby, I ring your bell
Because I rock and roll
In ster-e-er-e-o
I rock and roll
In ster-e-er-e-o
Like Fred Flintstone said yabadabado
You hear my jam, want to yell it too
Because I got more rhymes than a clock chimes
I got more rhymes than a monkey climbs
I got more rhymes than a lemon and limes
And I got more rhymes than a bank got dimes
So freak it to the east, freak it to the west
I freak it to the girl with the biggest chest
Freak it to the west, then you freak it to the east
But you never freak out with an ugly beast
So young ladies in the '80s
Come and ride in my Mercedes
'Cause the ladies see they all must stare
Because I got brown eyes and a wavy hair
I'm not so tall, but I'm not so short
And you young ladies are my favorite sport
So put your hand in the air and let me know you're out there
You put your hand in the air and let me know you're out there
Then scream oh yeah—“oh yeah!” Oh what?—“oh yeah!”
Y'all, I'm leaving now, but I'll be back
To make the young ladies catch a need-a-freak attack
Yes, the time has come for me to leave the mic
But I'll be back with more of what you like
So…take a chill