Actors

I don’t believe that you’re trying to die
But you’re not trying to live
And though he deserved it
You shouldn’t have punched him in the face
It’s your fault he’s like this in the first place
I don’t care
How you feel about my ‘lifestyle’
I was a chill child
I wish you’d just disappear

It’s not a good time to release a song
But my body needed to release this
I’ve held it way too long
Maybe this isn’t the best way to do this
But it might be the truest
It’s my only way

I thought the cracks in the screen
Would show in the picture
It used to be pure
But now it’s a mixture of pains
Married to the fractures
But we’ve been good actors
Holding tight to your melting remains

I’ve been clean for like 5 years
I don’t miss the wild years
But I miss feeling anything
I don’t believe that you’re trying
Because you are crying
Only trying my patience

I don’t believe that you’re trying to die
But you’re not trying to live
I can’t surmount all the shit
That you’re asking me to forgive

I still feel numb
But it’s not anesthesia or fun
I want to run away
But it’s not safe to go outside
I fear we’re done
As I expire on the inside
I say i want
To go to the party
But it’s not remotely true