Acrophobe

She said, "I'm so lost I'll never stay found
And everything is black and white around me
How these colors never change out
All I can do is learn to celebrate my grays now
I'm hiding from the sun with my umbrella made of rain clouds"
Face down on her pillow full of hopeless dreams
She's window gazing endo blazing fingers
Through my smoking rings. And me?
I'm limbo status with these ghosts of kings
I'm infinitely dis-con-figure-eighted
From my dopamines an opening
And so I magnify the stir of echos passing like the blur of my opacifying urge to let go
I'll amplify and vandalize my words with pencils
Stencil in the answers why my path in life is worst example
I'll trample over bridges that I burned to get here
From different distances I'm whispering my words to deaf ears
Theres nothing left here but this moment that I won't remember
Cold December frozen in the minutes that I turn to next year
Your perfect nothings look so scarred and tarnished
Starving for acknowledgement and
Swallowing your heart of darkness
That certain something took apart and harnessed all of your apologists that follow those that harm the harmless
And so I'll piss away the threat of having nothing left but death in this eviscerated flesh
I won't assimilate my steps or try to integrate whats left of this disintegrated mess and let you give away the rest...

So don't look down now
We're too afraid that we'll fall
When there's no sun above us
And theres no light around us
And theres no ground below us
Don't look down now
So don't look down now
We're too afraid that we'll fall
When there's no sun above us
And theres no light around us
And theres no ground below us
Don't look down now

I'm losing my composure
Trying to find some beauty in this lost blood
While realizing that I'm only human when I'm not one
And I felt so alive in my confusion till it got numb
Enough for this mirage of life's illusions in the hot sun
Provoked to overlook that broken crooked oath you took
An open book you wrote with both your
Hooks inside my throat you shook
I hope you put it all away and learned to stay alone
Save your own imaginary Game of Thrones
You played alone, I made it home
I'm leaving pieces of my certainties for grief
And insecurities with demons in my circuitry
I'll feed them with the credence that I needed in the urgency
Believing I was free when I could see they mean to murder me
I'll keep my distance
And you can keep your tales of cautionary crosses
While I'm walking on a plot that's made of coffins buried
Often staring off into these arbitrary dots
And these constellations I connect to causes I forgot...

So don't look down now
We're too afraid that we'll fall
When there's no sun above us
And theres no light around us
And theres no ground below us
Don't look down now
So don't look down now
We're too afraid that we'll fall
When there's no sun above us
And theres no light around us
And theres no ground below us
Don't look down now