Aborted Child

[Intro]
You know, there's some things in life you just gotta live with, man
You know what I'm sayin'?
Some choices that we make you just gotta live with, you know?
Some of those choices still haunt me though
Let me explain

[Verse: 38 Spesh]
Ayo, I laid there for a while
That was the first chance that I had to speak to my aborted child
He said "I don't like the way that you did my mother
Why did I have to suffer because you didn't love her?
Must've had it confused from how you kissed and hugged her
Me and your other son will always be distant brothers
I don't got love for you anymore
See, I loved my life, what you ruined it for?
How could you get rid of me when you knew I was yours?
For something that I had nothing to do with at all
So what if momma was a whore, and she wasn't your wife
Why would you fuck her raw if she wasn't your type?
Now I gotta suffer for mamma mistakes
She was a black girl lost, so can I get a break?
Now you can judge my mother, but don't judge me
How could you love my brother but don't love me?"

[Chorus]
(To my aborted child)
How could you not consider yourself a deadbeat?
You took care of one child and never fed me
(To my aborted child)
How could you not consider yourself a loser?
It's 'cause of you I ain't got no future

[Sample]
I was just a few days shy of my 19th birthday when I heard the words "You're pregnant"
I figured that this meant I needed to decide if I wanted to become a mother, not realizing that I already was
I chose abortion because well-meaning loved ones encouraged it or offered no alternatives
I didn't think that I would be able to finish college
I was ashamed to be pregnant outside of marriage
It was so easy to believe the lies that what would be removed was simply a piece of tissue, that by having it removed I could easily go on with my life, never looking back