A Weekend in the Country

[PETRA]
Look, ma'am
An invitation—
Here, ma'am
Delivered by hand
And, ma'am, I notice the stationery's
Engraved and very grand

[ANNE]
Petra, how too exciting!
Just when I need it!
Petra, such elegant writing
So chic you hardly can read it
What do you think?
Who can it be?
Even the ink—
No, here, let me

[Opens the envelope, reads]

"Your presence—"
Just think of it, Petra!
"Is kindly—"
It's at a château!
"Requested—"
Et cetera, et cetera
"Madame Leonora Armf—"
Oh, no!

A weekend in the country!

[PETRA]
We're invited?

[ANNE]
What a horrible plot!
A weekend in the country—

[PETRA]
I'm excited!

[ANNE]
No, you're not!

[PETRA]
A weekend in the country!
Just imagine!

[ANNE]
It's completely depraved

[PETRA]
A weekend in the country!

[ANNE]
It's insulting!

[PETRA]
It's engraved

[ANNE]
It's that woman
It's that Armfeldt!

[PETRA]
Oh, the actress?

[ANNE]
No, the ghoul!
She may hope to
Make her charm felt
But she's mad if she thinks I would be such a fool
As to weekend in the country!

[PETRA]
How insulting!

[ANNE]
And I've nothing to wear

[ANNE & PETRA]
A weekend in the country!

[ANNE, hands the invitation back]
Here!
The last place I'm going is there!

[FREDRIK's study]

[PETRA, to FREDRIK]
Guess what, an invitation!

[ANNE]
Guess who? Begins with an "A"
"Armfeldt"—is that a relation
To the decrepit Desiree?

[PETRA]
Guess when we're asked to go, sir—
See, sir, the date there?
Guess where—a fancy château, sir!

[ANNE]
Guess, too, who's lying in wait there
Setting her traps
Fixing her face—

[FREDRIK]
Darling
Perhaps a change of pace...

[ANNE]
Oh, no!

[FREDRIK]
A weekend in the country
Would be charming
And the air would be fresh

[ANNE]
A weekend with that woman?

[FREDRIK]
In the country!

[ANNE]
In the flesh!

[FREDRIK]
I've some business
With her mother

[PETRA]
See, it's business!

[ANNE]
Oh, no doubt
But the business with her mother
Would be hardly the business I'd worry about

[FREDRIK & PETRA]
Just a weekend in the country—

[FREDRIK]
Smelling jasmine—

[ANNE]
Watching little things grow

[FREDRIK & PETRA]
A weekend in the country—

[ANNE]
Go!

[FREDRIK]
My darling, we'll simply say no

[ANNE]
Oh

[CHARLOTTE and ANNE having lunch]

[ANNE]
A weekend!

[CHARLOTTE]
How very amusing

[ANNE]
A weekend!

[CHARLOTTE]
But also inept

[ANNE]
A weekend!
Of course, we're refusing

[CHARLOTTE]
Au contraire, you must accept

[ANNE]
Oh, no!

[CHARLOTTE]
A weekend in the country—

[ANNE]
But it's frightful!

[CHARLOTTE]
No, you don't understand
A weekend in the country
Is delightful
If it's planned

Wear your hair down and a flower
Don't use makeup
Dress in white
She'll grow older by the hour
And be hopelessly shattered by Saturday night
Spend a weekend in the country

[ANNE]
We'll accept it!

[CHARLOTTE]
I'd a feeling you would

[ANNE & CHARLOTTE]
A weekend in the country!

[ANNE]
Yes, it's only polite that we should

[CHARLOTTE]
Good

[The Malcolms' house]

[CARL-MAGNUS]
Well?

[CHARLOTTE]
I've an intriguing little social item

[CARL-MAGNUS]
What?

[CHARLOTTE]
Out of the Armfeldt family manse

[CARL-MAGNUS]
Well, what?

[CHARLOTTE]
Merely a weekend
Still, I thought it might am-
Use you to know
Who's invited to go
This time with his pants

[CARL-MAGNUS]
You don't mean—!

[CHARLOTTE]
I'll give you three guesses

[CARL-MAGNUS]
She wouldn't!

[CHARLOTTE]
Reduce it to two

[CARL-MAGNUS]
It can't be—!

[CHARLOTTE]
It nevertheless is—

[CARL-MAGNUS]
Egerman!

[CHARLOTTE]
Right! Score one for you

[CARL-MAGNUS]
Aha!

[CHARLOTTE]
Aha!

[CARL-MAGNUS, slyly]
Aha!

[CHARLOTTE, nervously]
Aha...

[CARL-MAGNUS]
A weekend in the country—
We should try it

[CHARLOTTE]
How I wish we'd been asked

[CARL-MAGNUS]
A weekend in the country
Peace and quiet—

[CHARLOTTE]
We'll go masked

[CARL-MAGNUS]
A weekend in the country—

[CHARLOTTE]
Uninvited—
They'll consider it odd

[CARL-MAGNUS]
A weekend in the country—
I'm delighted!

[CHARLOTTE]
Oh, my God

[CARL-MAGNUS]
And the shooting should be pleasant
If the weather's not too rough
Happy Birthday, it's your present

[CHARLOTTE]
But—

[CARL-MAGNUS]
You haven't been getting out nearly enough
And a weekend in the country—

[CHARLOTTE]
It's perverted!

[CARL-MAGNUS]
Pack my quiver and bow

[CHARLOTTE & CARL-MAGNUS]
A weekend in the country!

[CARL-MAGNUS]
At exactly two thirty, we go

[CHARLOTTE]
We can't

[CARL-MAGNUS]
We shall

[CHARLOTTE]
We shan't

[CARL-MAGNUS]
I'm getting the car
And we're motoring down

[CHARLOTTE]
Yes, I'm certain you are
And I'm staying in town

[Both households are seen simultaneously]

[CARL-MAGNUS, ANNE, PETRA]
Go and pack We'll go
My suits! Oh, good!

[CHARLOTTE, FREDRIK]
I won't! We will?

[CARL-MAGNUS, ANNE, PETRA, CHARLOTTE]
My boots! We should
Pack ev'rything I own Pack ev'rything white
That shoots! Ma'am, it's wonderful news!
No!

[CARL-MAGNUS, FREDRIK]
Charlotte! Are you sure it's alright?

[CHARLOTTE, ANNE]
I'm thinking it out We'd be rude to refuse

[CARL-MAGNUS, FREDRIK, PETRA]
Charlotte! Then we're off!
We are?

[CHARLOTTE, FREDRIK]
There's no need to shout We'll take the car

[CARL-MAGNUS, ALL THREE]
Charlotte! We'll bring champagne

[CHARLOTTE, ALL THREE]
All right, then! And caviar!

[ALL]
We're off on our way
What a beautiful day
For a weekend in the country
How amusing
How delightfully droll
A weekend in the country
While we're losing
Our control
A weekend in the country
How enchanting
On the manicured lawns
A weekend in the country
With the panting
And the yawns

With the crickets and the pheasants
And the orchards and the hay
With the servants and the peasants
We'll be laying our plans
While we're playing croquet

For a weekend in the country
So inactive that one has to lie down
A weekend in the country
Where—

[HENRIK]
A weekend in the country
The bees in their hives
The shallow, worldly figures
The frivolous lives
The devil's companions
Know not whom they serve
It might be instructive
To observe

[CARL-MAGNUS, FREDRIK, HENRIK]
Charlotte! We're off! A weekend in the

[PETRA]
We are?

[CHARLOTTE, FREDRIK & ANNE, HENRIK]
I'm thinking it out We'll take the car Country

[CARL-MAGNUS, ALL THREE, HENRIK]
Charlotte! We'll bring champagne The bees in their

[CHARLOTTE, ALL THREE, HENRIK]
There's no need to shout And caviar! Hives...

[ALL]
We're off and away
What a beautiful day!

[BOTH, ALL THREE, HENRIK & QUINTET]
For surveying A weekend We're off
Each other while Of We are
Playing croquet Playing croquet I'll get the car
Controlling A weekend We'll get
Our feelings while Of Champagne
Strolling the lawns Strolling the lawns And caviar
And confiding Confiding The weather
Our motives while Our motives while Is
Hiding our yawns Hiding our yawns Spectacular

[ALL PLUS QUINTET]
With riotous laughter
We quietly suffer
The season in town
Which is reason enough for

A weekend in the country!
How amusing
How delightfully droll
A weekend in the country
While we're losing
Our control

A weekend in the country
How enchanting
On the manicured lawns
A weekend in the country
With the panting
And the yawns

With the crickets and the pheasants
And the orchards and the hay
With the servants and the peasants
We'll be laying our plans
While we're playing croquet

For a weekend in the country
So inactive that one has to lie down
A weekend in the country
Where...
We're twice as upset as in
Twice as upset as in
Twice as upset as in
Twice as upset as in

[CARL-MAGNUS, (CHARLOTTE), ANNE, (FREDRIK), PETRA, (HENRIK), QUINTET]
Charlotte (We're) Town (Are you sure) A weekend! (Shallow) Twice as upset as in
We're going! (Uninvited) A weekend! (You want to go?) A weekend! (Worldy) Twice as upset as in
Charlotte (Are you sure) A weekend! (People) Twice as upset as in
We're going! (Uninvited) A weekend! (You want to go?) A weekend! (Going) Twice as upset as in
Charlotte A weekend! (Are you sure) A weekend! (Shallow) Twice as upset as in
We're going! (Uninvited) A weekend! (You want to go) A weekend! (People) Twice as upset as in
Charlotte (We should) A weekend (Away and leave) (Going) Twice as upset as in
Out of (Stay in) Out of (Go and leave) Out of (Out of) Twice as upset in

[ALL]
Town!