A Very Special Episode

[Open. Int. Onion's House]

(Two toys characters are shown interacting with each other.)

CHARACTER 1: Thank you, Explorer Gal, from saving us from this dastardly bandit guy!

"EXPLORER GAL": (Unintelligible speech)

CHARACTER 1: For your heroic efforts, please accept...

(A one-dollar bill is passed from one hand to the other.)

CHARACTER 1: ...money! Our city was a mess without you, but now...

(Rainbow Quartz 2.0 and Onion are shown.)

RAINBOW 2.0: Well... I suppose it's still a mess. It's been so fun playing, but now we have to clean, which is also fun! Are you ready to tidy up?

(Onion is shown throwing up a piece of broccoli out of his mouth.)

RAINBOW 2.0: Oh, Onion, don't be that way. Your best friend Rainbow will help you tidy up. (While taking out Rainbow Quartz 2.0's Parasol) Let's get things a little bit more animated in here!

(Onion's toys start moving. Rainbow Quartz 2.0 starts singing "The Tidying Song".)

RAINBOW 2.0: Stick by stick, the little blackbird builds a nest.
A mess to some, but the little blackbird isn't stressed.
Stick by stick, the little blackbird builds a nest.
And then he naps, 'cause even blackbirds need to rest.
The fun won't stop if you have a friend around.
The fun won't stop if you have a friend around.
And when you laugh, it is my favorite sound.
And that's what life is all about.

RAINBOW 2.0: spoken What the-?! Next time wash your dishes. Can you...

(A plush is shown waving Steven's hand.)

RAINBOW 2.0: ...please explain what this is? All right. Thank you for the kisses.

(Steven's Phone starts ringing.)

RAINBOW 2.0: Okay, I'm gonna need like... 5 minutes.

(Pearl and Steven unfuse.)

GARNET: Steven, you're late. I need you for the Sunstone Safety Geminar.

STEVEN: Oh, no, that was today? But Rainbow Quartz promised to hang out with Onion today.

GARNET: Don't worry. I'll handle the Geminar. I'll explain to them every possible future where they get hurt in this house.

STEVEN: I don't know if that's a good idea. I'll be right there. Pearl, I'll be back as soon as I can. Will you hang out with Onion while I'm gone?

PEARL: Of course. He's been a dream for Rainbow. I can take things from here.

STEVEN: Are you sure?

PEARL: I'm sure it'll be fine. Oh, look at him now, making a collage.

STEVEN: Uhh...

GARNET: Heaven Beetle, Earth Beetle, there's a future where you fall into the garbage disposal and nobody notices until it's too late.

STEVEN: I gotta go, but I'll be back as soon as I can.

PEARL: Take your time. We'll be fine here. gasp wow, Onion, that's a beautiful bag of hair. Whose is it?

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

OCEAN JASPER: I slip on the stairs?

GARNET: Yes. You shatter on impact.

OCEAN JASPER
NEPHRITE: AAAH!!!

STEVEN: Garnet, I'm here.

GARNET: Steven, help. I think I'm scaring them.

(Heaven and Earth Beetle sound scared.)

STEVEN: It's okay. We got this. Let's get this safety Geminar started with a very special guest speaker.

(Steven and Garnet dance and fuse into Sunstone.)

SUNSTONE: Your rockin' pal Sunstone's here to shine.

OCEAN JASPER: Watch out, Sunstone. It's dangerous in here.

SUNSTONE: Not if you practice home safety. Don't slip up. Clear objects off the stairs. picks up a water bottle* Foul shot! *tosses bottle in trash Make sure you cover your trash, or you might attract wild animals. Come on. Let's go! Don't leave the water running. It could flood your house! Put protective covers on electrical outlets, especially when kids are around. And, most importantly, turn off motion smoothing on your TV.

OCEAN JASPER: Wow, everything looks so much better.

(Steven's Phone starts ringing.)

SUNSTONE: Alright, hold tight. I gotta take a phone call. In the meantime, check out this commercial.

(Steven warps into Little Homeworld in Bluebird)

STEVEN: "Hey, all you Gems out there in the universe! Have you been feeling lost and confused in this new era? Then come on down to Little Homeschool!"

(Garnet and Steven unfuse.)

STEVEN: Hey, Pearl. How's it going?

PEARL: Hi, Steven. chuckles nervously Just wondering if you're coming back soon.

STEVEN: Is everything alright over there?

PEARL: Well, just as soon as you left, Onion got a little... frustrated. He's really doing a number on the house. I think he misses Rainbow.

STEVEN: Aah, I'll be right there.

[Trans. Int. Onion's House]

(Pearl and Steven fuse.)

RAINBOW 2.0: Rainbow is back! Now, now, Onion, we do not go about hitting things, alright? My, did all that havoc make you sleepy? Why don't we take a little nap?

(Rainbow sends Onion up the stairs.)

RAINBOW 2.0: And off we go! Rest well.

(Immediately, Onion goes down the stairs. Rainbow sends Onion up the stairs again.)

RAINBOW 2.0: Off we go again!

(Onion goes down the stairs again. Rainbow sends Onion up the stairs again. Onion, again, goes down the stairs.)

RAINBOW 2.0: (While sending Onion up the stairs.) Alright, Onion. Last one... Oh, dear... I wonder how Garnet is doing.

[Trans. Beach House]

STEVEN: Garnet, I'm back! I-

(Steven opens the door, revealing the Beach House destroyed inside.)

STEVEN: What happened?

GARNET: Hey, Steven. We set up a home safety obstacle course, but then, we got distracted.

STEVEN: gasps Motion smoothing???

GARNET: It's great for football.

STEVEN: Everybody out of the house!

[Trans. Beach City]

SUNSTONE: Alright! Change of scenery! You guys wanna see something cool? The cool thing is that I'm wearing... a helmet. inspires the observers to follow suit and skate Now you're getting it.

(Onto the road.)

SUNSTONE: Alright, next lesson. Woah, hold up! car nearly hits them You know what's also cool? Respect. Respecting crosswalk signals that is.

(Sunstone and the Gems wait.)

SUNSTONE: You're doing great.

(The Gems cross the road as the walk light turns green. Steven's phone starts ringing. Garnet and Steven unfuse.)

STEVEN: exhausted Please. Please have everything under control.

PEARL: STEVEN, EVERYTHING'S OUT OF CONTROL!

STEVEN: Yup.

PEARL: It's getting really weird here. Steven, you were never like this. You were such a good kid. I'm so sorry I never told you that- drops phone AAH! I-I can hear him, but I can't see him. I think he's in the walls. I don't know how he got there, and I don't know how to get him out!

STEVEN: gasps Garnet, can you handle things on your own for a little bit?

GARNET: No problem. Our students love me. walks over to them Let me tell you all the ways you can get hit by a car.

STEVEN: Agh, Garnet, forget it. I'll stay. I'll stay-

(Steven's phone starts ringing)

PEARL: STEVEN, THERE'S A SNAKE! screaming heard

STEVEN: Never mind!

[Trans. Onion's house]

STEVEN: Hello?

(Pearl appears between the stair railing.)

PEARL: STEVEN!!!!!

STEVEN: Ahh! Pearl!

PEARL: It's not safe here! HIDE!

STEVEN: Pearl, you got to chill out.

Steven looks ahead as an open jar of mayo is rolled onto the ground into sight. He walks towards the kitchen.

PEARL: Steven, no, the danger! falls on the ground Oof!

Steven and Pearl walk into the kitchen with the lights off and they look around, finally seeing Onion with glowing eyes.

PEARL: screams loudly* That's it! *summons her spear

(Steven calmly turns on the light in the kitchen.)

PEARL: Oh. What?

STEVEN: Aw, I guess he really wants Rainbow, and cookies. sees Onion with a jar of cookies on top of the fridge Wait, is he going to jump? Onion, don't you do it. ONION! It's okay, I'll catch you, Onion! (Onion bounces onto his head and to the ground.) Okay, th-th-that's fine, too.

PEARL: Ooh, are you going to share some with me?

(Onion breaks the cookie jar.)

STEVEN AND PEARL: Nope!

(Steven and Pearl fuse in the background.)

RAINBOW 2.0: Come here, you naughty dumpling. Gotcha! Why play with sharp objects when you can play with my sharp wit? Crack jokes, not cookie jars, as I always say. Ha ha! But I'll tell you what isn't a joke- this horrendous mess. Now, this just won't do. uses umbrella to magically clean up the mess* Phew! You are quite the handful, my boy, *laughs literally!

[Trans. Outside Onion's house]

RAINBOW 2.0: Okay, you're coming with me.

GARNET: It's important to keep in mind that all these horrible things did happen to you in alternate timelines. Safety is fun.

RAINBOW 2.0: Hey, Garnet, how's about taking another student? I'm feeling a little bit...

(Rainbow Quartz makes a silly face and blows a raspberry. Pearl and Steven unfuse.)

GARNET: You shouldn't have brought him here, Steven.

STEVEN: No, no, no, it's fine. I-It's good. No one needs safety training more than Onion. exhausted I'm combining all my responsibilities into one responsibility. It's brilliant. It's- It's brilliant. It's fine. I'm fine. Really, it's fine. It's fine. I'm fine...

(Onion picks up a piece of grass and makes it whistle. This interests the Gem class to follow Onion around.)

STEVEN: I'm fine... I'm fine... Really, just fine-... Huh...?

(Steven and others chase the class and Onion until they reach a hill. Onion throws the leaf into the wind. As if hypnotized, the class Gems walk off the cliff and fall.)

PEARL: Oh no!

GARNET: Steven, quick, Sunstone can save them.

STEVEN: Okay. Uh- fuses

SUNSTONE: Oh yeah!

PEARL: No! Let Rainbow save them. swipes Steven and fuses

RAINBOW 2.0: I'll catch them with this.

AMETHYST: Hey, wait! I need Steven. (Pearl and Steven unfuse.)

STEVEN: What is it, Amethyst?

AMETHYST: I just missed you, man! I haven't seen you for, like, 11 minutes! (Steven falls over.)

PEARL: STEVEN!

STEVEN: I shouldn't have overbooked my schedule. groans and dies

GARNET: ...Noooooo!

(But it turns out to be a public service announcement by Sunstone this whole time.)

SUNSTONE: Hey, kids, don't let this happen to you. Always try to manage your time wisely. You can't be everywhere at once. Don't pull a Steven, am I right? Speaking of which, hey, shouldn't you kids be at your guitar lessons?

OCEAN JASPER: But we don't have any g- gasps Wowzers! Thanks, Sunstone!

SUNSTONE: No problem, dude. It's cool to want to help people, but it's also cool to just say you're too busy.

PEARL: Who are you talking to?- volleyball hits her in the head OW!

SUNSTONE: And most importantly, never jump off a cliff, unless you're a trained professional, that is!

[END]