A Thing You Call Joy

Grip the water flowing and it falls
Faster from the palms
You told me so calm and knowing
To watch its working flow
And not to grip the hold of something
So stoic it can't be stolen
It's the flow of your water motion
Not the measure of your pressure
Grip the water flowing and it falls
Faster from the palms

Always a fall feeling after a calling
There is always a fall I feel coming
Grip the water flowing and it falls
Faster from the palms

Into the cave I keep going
I go knowing
Into the core of my condition
Between the hours of rest and play
I awake knowing
Dancing to unknown music
Of foreign origin

Why am I forever in recovery from a thing you call joy
And why am I so goddam blessed
On earth
Why am I
There's the living me and the four of you
All of my phantoms chanting
Maybe I'm too sensitive
Feeling everything I'm told tenfold

I have awoken
Before I have spoken
I have awoken

I feel like the daytime chasing the night
Thrown to the dawn
Thrown two ways at twilight
Darker! brighter! Any way but this
When I am thrown to the night
In the hallways of the mind
In the corridors of midnight
I am reborn
Every waking morning
Without warning

I feel like the daytime chasing the night

I have awoken
Before I have spoken
I have awoken

I'm grateful to watch you moving by
I'm grateful for the waves
The solid rocks are dry
For me

Why am I forever in recovery from a thing you call joy
Forever refilling
And why am I
So goddamn blessed
On earth why am I

Closer I feel to truth
Closer comes the falling
There's a stale mate stalling
Always a fall feeling after a calling
There is always a fall I feel coming
There's a stale mate stalling my calls
There's a stale mate stalling