A Song of Fire vs. Ice (Game of Thrones Rap Battle)

[Intro: Nonelikejoshua & Dan Bull]
Yeah, it's NLJ
Dan Bull
Bringing that GOT battle

[Verse 1: Nonelikejoshua]
Yeah
A song of fire vs. ice
You a squire, I’m an honorary knight
Valyrian sword while you carry a knife
The rap game of thrones, you barely survive
I castrate you like Greyjoy
Then I’ma make you my slaveboy
Now you be prayin to seven deities
That I don’t whip you with chains coiled
You bout to get killed in a fighting pit
I’m the rightful heir, you might as well quit
You fired some arrows and missed
You look like a Sparrow, you poorer than shit
And now you’ll be burned and flayed
Return to your cage Bring me some wine
The King has arrived Spittin that Basilisk venom
And now you cling for life

[Verse 2: Dan Bull]
Battle? My raps are born
From Melisandre's twat
Yours are bloody boring
I'd rather listen to Hodor rap
Me? I'm bigger than Brienne of Tarth
You? you're not even a half
I do to your family what the Freys did to each of the Starks
I could beat you every day of the week
Your name's not NLJ, it's Reek
I flay a beat like Ramsay Bolton
Turn the heat from cold to molten
While I sit on the iron throne
You sit and iron at home
I'm a wildling lout, wilding out
The trail behind me's a pile of bones

[Verse 3: Nonelikejoshua]
You gaze into the flames
In Hope for wages and to be famous
No stress, no pain
Means no conquest, no gain
Your lyrics were sent to you by a raven
Who are you again? You have many faces
Make it rain from the Iron Bank
I pay assassins for your dire straits
I see your empire of pride and hate
Trial by combat or hide from fate
I spit fire on your zombie body
'Til you're covered in blisters
You've been falling off
Since you caught me fuckin your sister
So bow and stop defending
'Cause now your watch has ended

[Verse 4: Dan Bull]
I cross the Narrow Sea
Through flaming arrows east to Lhazareen
I ride on the back of of a dragon beast
You struggle to ride this track on the beat
I'm applying violence
From Iron Oaks to the Iron Islands
So pray to the old gods
And the new to provide you guidance
My presence is bigger than Tywin's
You're as thick as The Mountain
My words pierce ears
With the precision of Needle, you're an idiot shouting
Every single track I hear
You just repeat that one flow
You're an idiot, to paraphrase Ygritte:
"You know nothing, Jon Snow"

[Verse 5: Nonelikejoshua]
You in pain with no milk of the poppy
Full of shame - your lyrics are sloppy
Sword of the morning, shinin so bright
Call me R’hlor, but Lord of the Mic
Back from the dead, Beric Donderian
Dragon sky head from Daenerys Targaryen
Conquer the war with Robert’s Rebellion
Cut off your dwarf dick, no need for sellin it

[Verse 6: Dan Bull]
Outnumbered a thousand to one
I'll still defeat your standing army
I'm ready, I'm heavy, I better be renamed
Notorious Samwell Tarly
I'm the One True King of nerdcore
Whatever else you may wish
I've got more cunning in my little finger
Petyr Baelish

[Outro: Nonelikejoshua & Dan Bull]
Winter just came
You win, or you die trying