A Skit About Vocations

[MC Frontalot]
Hey, Wil! What's happening? It's... you remember MC Frontalot from PAX?

[Wil Wheaton]
Yes. You sang *Re: Your Brains*, right?

[Front]
I am so totally happy I ran into you, because I wanted to start one of these web blogs that people have.

[Wil]
Oh.

[Front]
And I was wondering if you would have, for me, any advice?

[Wil]
Did you read about it in *Parade* magazine or something?

[Front]
*Circus*

[Wil]
Well, that's a fascinating coincidence. I wanted to talk to you about my desire to get involved with rapping.

[Front]
Did you?

[Wil]
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I hate to impose on you, but you think I could drop some rhymes on you?

[Front]
That would be awesome.

[Wil]
They're phat rhymes!

[Front]
I would expect.

[Wil]
I am Wil Wheaton and my crabs are fresh
Yo, I peel up a jumbo shrimp. Bite the flesh
If I can't have an oyster then I get depressed
And I'll finish up the lobster if you don't want the rest
Crawfish is the best! Get a net and a vest!

[Front]
You know what, I'm going to stop you there. Are all your rhymes about seafood?

[Wil]
Yes! Yes they are. Shellfish, specifically. I'm calling it "Shellfishcore Hip-Hop."

[Front]
That seems like a weird and potentially self-limiting designation.

[Wil]
Oh, does it?

[Front]
Yeah, kind of.

[Wil]
Oh, does it?

[Front]
Oh, I see what you're doing.

[Wil]
Let's talk about you, what is your blog going to be about?

[Front]
Well, just, really the usual things like, conventions I go to, my writing career, my relation with my teenage stepson, my recollections of having stared in a seminal Stephen King blockbuster at one point in my late post-adolescence.

[Wil]
OK, I'm going to stop you right there. No one is going to want to read about that.