A Rumor in St. Petersburg

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
The Neva Flows, a new wind blows
And soon it will be spring

[GLEB, spoken]
We hear you, comrades! The revolution hears you! Together, we will forge a new Russia that will be the envy of all the world! The Tsar's St. Petersburg is now the people's Leningrad!

[DMITRY, spoken]
They can call it Leningrad, but it will always be Petersburg. New name, same empty stomachs.

(sung)
They tell us times are better
Well, I say they're not
Can't cook an empty promise in an empty pot
"A brighter day is dawning! It's almost at hand!"
The skies are gray, the walls have ears
And he who argues disappears!

[DMITRY & TOWNSPEOPLE]
Hail our brave new land!

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
St. Petersburg is booming
A city on the rise

[WOMAN]
It's really very friendly

[WOMAN 2]
If you don't mind spies!

[MAN]
We stand behind our leaders

[MAN 2]
And stand in line for bread

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
We're good and loyal comrades, and our favorite color's red!

[DMITRY]
Now everyone is equal
Professors push the brooms

[DMITRY & ENSEMBLE]
Two-dozen total strangers live in two small rooms
You hold a revolution, and here's the price you pay
Thank goodness for the gossip

[MEN]
Спасибо за слухи! (Spasibo za slukhi!)

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
Thank goodness for the gossip
That gets us through the day!

Hey!
Have you heard?
There's a rumor in St. Petersburg
Have you heard
What they're saying on the street?

[MAN]
Although the Tsar did not survive
One daughter may be still alive

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
The Princess Anastasia!

[MAN]
But please do not repeat!

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
It's a rumor, a legend, a mystery
Something whispered in an alleyway
Or through a crack
It's a rumor that's part of our history

[WOMAN]
They say her royal grandmama will pay a royal sum

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
To someone who can bring the Princess back

[VLAD, spoken]
Dmitry! They've closed another border. We should've gotten out of Russia while we still could!

(sung)
St. Petersburg was lovely when royalty was in
I called myself a count as though I'd always been
I hobnobbed with the royals, but then a change of luck
The Tsar was dead, the royals fled
And, comrade, now we're stuck!

[DMITRY, spoken]
Vlad! I've been thinking about the Princess Anastasia.

[VLAD, spoken]
Oh, not you too, Dmitry!

[DMITRY]
It's the rumor, the legend, the mystery
It's the Princess Anastasia who will help us fly
You and I, friend, will go down in history

We'll find a girl to play the part and teach her what to say
Dress her up and take her to Paris

[VLAD]
Imagine the reward her dear old grandmama would pay

[DMITRY & VLAD]
Who else could pull it off but you and me?

[ANYA, spoken]
No!

[GLEB, spoken]
It was a truck backfiring, comrade. That's all it was. Those days are over, neighbor against neighbor. There's nothing to be afraid of anymore. You're shaking. There's a tea shop just steps from here, let me-

[ANYA, spoken]
Thank you.

[GLEB, spoken]
What's your hurry?

[ANYA, spoken]
I can't lose this job. They're not easy to come by. But thank you.

[GLEB, spoken]
I'm here every day!

[MAN]
A ruble for this painting
It's Romanov, I swear!

[MAN 2]
Count Yusupov's pajamas, comrade
Buy the pair!

[MAN 3]
I found this in a palace
Initialed with an A
It could be Anastasia's!
Now what will someone pay?

[DMITRY, spoken]
We need something of hers to show the old lady. How much is that music box?

[SALESMAN, spoken]
Ah, the music box! It's genuine Romanov, I could never part with it!

[DMITRY, spoken]
Two cans of beans, comrade?

[SALESMAN, spoken]
Done.

[DMITRY, spoken]
Do you believe in fairytales, Vlad?

[VLAD, spoken]
Once upon a time, I did.

[DMITRY, spoken]
We're going to create a fairytale the whole world will believe!

(sung)
Now it's risky, but not more than usual
We'll need papers, we'll need tickets, we'll need nerves of steel

[VLAD]
Yes, it's risky, a lot more than usual

[DMITRY]
We'll try to cross the border with our princess and our plot

[VLAD]
Hopefully disaster won't ensue

[DMITRY]
With luck, it'll all go smoothly

[VLAD]
And with luck, we won't be shot

[DMITRY & VLAD]
Who else could pull it off but me and you?

[DMITRY]
We'll be rich!

[VLAD]
We'll be rich!

[DMITRY]
We'll be out!

[VLAD]
We'll be out!

[DMITRY & VLAD]
And St. Petersburg will have some more to talk about!

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
I heard it from a person who
Assured me it was absolutely true

Shh!
Have you heard?
There's a rumor in St. Petersburg
Have you heard?
Comrade, what do you suppose?

[VLAD]
A fascinating mystery

[DMITRY]
The biggest con in history!

[DMITRY, VLAD, AND TOWNSPEOPLE]
The princess Anastasia
Alive or dead
Who knows?
Shh!