A Pocket or Two

[Verse 1]
People call me Pickey – pickin’ pocket’s my profession
And I master my craft – do you have any questions?
I’m happy to demonstrate the tricks of the trade
Sneak up on ‘em – do your thing and then be quick to evade
Just the old in-and-out without even being noticed
Except for the empty space the pockets of their coats get
But when they finally realize it I’ll be far away
You know – kind of on my way to try to find another prey
Live to fight another day – that’s a motto that I follow
I’m still gonna grab some wallets when I’m coming back tomorrow
I ain’t dumb – I know my income kind of would
Be more steady with a more secure livelihood
But I’m not in the mood for a job interview
‘cause my chances of getting it they are minimal
Pick a pocket or two and remember the thought
It is not criminal if you never get caught

[Chorus]
Dressed like a slob – can’t get a job
Ain’t got muscle like the rest of the mob
If you fit the description then I’m talkin’ to you
You gotta pick a pocket or two

[Verse 2]
The devil dances in an empty pocket of course
I will try to fill mine with the content of yours
Showin’ patience won’t get me far – motivational seminars
At the unemployment office only tame me and make me soft
“start off at the bottom – hope to get some prosperity
Maybe as a trainee with next to no salary”
Insanity – it’s time to get this here banana pealed
‘cause damn it feels like a hamster wheel so we don’t have a deal
I’m sick of all this – think I’ll stick to pickin’ pockets
The tricky part is just to figure how to pick your targets
But I think I’ve got it – first rule is elementary
Don’t go for the scruffy looking coats – they’ll be empty
But also do not go for the fanciest jackets
Their wallets got no cash – only carrying plastic
The rich get a free pass – yes the shit is twisted
Goddamned credit cards they are messin’ with my business

[Verse 3]
Some pick pockets in packs – but me I’m working alone
Try to keep it more discrete – that’s how I earn what I own
The bump-into-technique is frequently exercised
But it ain’t for me – eventually you’ll be recognized
Some create a diversion to get their target distracted
Shove a hand into their pocket – then their wallet’s retracted
OK technique but it’s time consuming as hell
I’m just lightfingered – smooth and I’m moving in stealth
I tell you this felony ain’t for mentally daft
It takes one hell of a fella – it is a delicate craft
Not here to dwell on the past but it ain’t how it used to be
The way of this digital age confuses me
I’m used to snatchin’ metal coins and paper bills
But nowadays it requires a new set of skills
‘cause money moves into computers where they’re keepin’ it catalogued
Soon all money is digital but my digits are analog