A Place Like This

[Sally]
The bunks all smell
The bugs all bite
The toads all croak
Throughout the night
The mess hall is a scary sight
The kitchen: unsanitary

There’s poison oak ‘round every tree
Miss indoor plumbing and I miss TV
The cruelest joke: there’s no AC
I was justified in being wary

How could anyone wanna spend time here?
Is there something that I missed?
It’s a thousand times less than sublime here
How could anybody ever love a place like this?
How could anybody ever love a place

Where you’re forced to swim
In a leech-filled lake
And you keep eyes peeled
For a rattlesnake
Hiking dusty trails - I will not partake
It can render a girl asthmatic

You wake at dawn
Like you would in jail
The food’s not what
You would call upscale (Ugh!)
This whole endeavor - an epic fail

[All]
And that’s being diplomatic

[Sally]
Everybody is out climbin’ a mountain
Me? I’m staring at an abyss
I’ve been thinking
But there’s no accountin’
For why anybody’d ever love a place

Where the bed’s as cozy as Styrofoam
And there’s stains
On all of the clothes you own
Where you count the seconds 'til you go home

No matter how much you insist
I can’t see how anybody’d ever love a place like this
How could anybody ever love a place like this?!