A Modern Lay

[Verse 1]
Jenny found herself in the supermarket line
With the crossword editor of the New York Times
She said, "How does it feel to be so well-read?
I can't even guess what you're reading"
He says, "I know I'm a big-shot literary boss
But I do not intend to die on that cross
I make what I earn, and I won't take no less
I'm not writing birthday greetings."
And then Jenny's blood ran hot
She said, "I'm not one for desk jockeys, but I'll give you a shot."

[Chorus]
Love in the United States
Empathy makes mе a modern lay
American kids swing the Amеrican way
What do you learn from your lover?

[Verse 2]
Tommy works all day sewing baseball gloves
Well, he's up all night watching Punch Drunk Love
He writes fanfiction on the factory floor
Mostly concerning Fernando
And then one fine day on the production line
Fernando says, "Hey Tommy, I'm runnin' out of time!
I'm 28 years old, at the edge of my prime
And I can't even play the piano."
And Tommy says, "Well, hell, Fern, neither can I
Do you wanna come over and watch a movie sometime?"

[Chorus]
Love in the United States
Empathy makes me a modern lay
American kids swing the American way
What do you learn from your lover?

[Bridge]
Folks, we're nearing the end here. You've been a lovely audience
You just look like a— like a million bucks. If all fifteen of you split that up, you could— uh, well— Anyway, we've got one more stop on this humble escapade through the Great American Bedroom. Ahem. Isaac? Lovely

[Verse 3]
Margaret starts with an absinthe mist
Tops it off with a lemon twist
Slides a lowball glass down the bar
To a new face in a yellow raincoat
Wrings the rag out and wipes down the wood
Starts to feel like she don't feel so good
Steals a glance at an old Polaroid
Tacked up by the Bushmills
Danny outside The Divine Lorraine
Just standing there in the pouring rain
One year from the day he died
Smiling like a child
She hears a crackle from the back of the room
Slow fade-in on a Neil Young tune
Turns around at the end of the bar
Sees another smile
And Margaret says, "Hey, stranger, let me ask you a question
You don't look like a dancer, but would you make an exception?"

[Chorus]
Love in the United States
Empathy makes me a modern lay
American kids swing the American way
What do you learn from your lover?
Love in the United States
Make it while you're paying off your FHA
American kids swing the American way
What do you learn from your lover?
What do you learn from your lover?
What do you learn from your lover?