A Message To My Mother

(Verse 1)

I never thought that it would be you
Striped away from the only person that made me who, I am today
Telling myself there’s brighter days, but then again
Who am I to say?

Full of constant pain and regret
I was only 12
What do you expect?
Nothing could of prepared me for what is next
My moms heart then gave out from all the stress
Since that day in March I’ve felt like there’s nothing left
Sitting in my room just contemplating death
Then dreamt that I would rise to be the best
I’m sure that’s what she wanted I’ll never settle for something less

Paralyzed by my Aunties drunken terms
Blaming me for why my moms no longer on this earth
What was said haunted me but what makes it worse
Is that I actually started to believe her words

(Verse 2)

You’re my mother, my mentor, and my best friend
Gone in the blink of an eye
Hopefully this dream ends
So I can wake up and embrace your love again
What did I do to deserve this cruel punishment?

I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy
Lost all energy
Is this really how it’s meant to be?
Left all alone on a very chilly Christmas Eve
Yeah I have my family but without you it’s incomplete

Laying on my knees asking life “Why?”
You would let a little bird learn how to fly but then cut its wings left it falling out the sky
That’s how it felt when I heard that my mom had died

Led to the fire exit of the hospital
A bunch of mixed emotions fucking with my mental... state
Can’t control fate
The sick part is we’re all born to eventually die someday

That’s why we’re told to live like there is no tomorrow
But it’s hard to do when you’re full of sorrow
Pains motivation and that’s something we all know
I’m feeling lost like I was someone named Waldo

It’s a dark path
Dogs bark when I walk past
Snakes slither in tall grass
Always that kid to be laughed at
Smoking weed to ease the mental combat
While my dad thinks that I’m gonna end up like my brother Matt

I don’t see why I’m being bashed on by my family
Those supposed to be here through thick and thin for infinity
Ever since that day en evil entity entered me and I’ve never been the same maybe I’ll get there eventually

It’s killing me
The misery from deep inside
This song was the embodiment of the strain I tried to hide
Mom I wrote this for you to show you that I’ve survived and I’m going to continue in your honor as long as I’m alive