A Letter to my Eating Disorder

In the bible, a group of men conspired
against a man named Daniel
Jealous of all his holy
Daniel was cast into the lions den

And while no one put you there
you must rememeber why you were there
in the first place

That is the day you called your mother
to wish her a happy birthday
Was the day you decided
that you would die of your eating disorder

Every bathroom remembers your name
Your name is Daniel
Your brokenеss is not the conductor of your orchestra
and sure, maybе your thighs are too big
and maybe your body is too much
but maybe you could stop making everything about this body

An apology
because darling
What has your body done to merit this kind of abuse?

Dear Daniel
Follow the vomit
Back into your body
Remember who you are
Remember where you've been
This is your orchestra
You cant sing with your fingers in your throat

Remember how your name was borrowed
from a man who survived the lions den
Remember that
That man walked out of the lions den

So walk out of the bathroom
Break out of the mirror
Get off of the scale
Stop throwing up

Stop throwing up
Stop throwing up

Remember how your name became
Survivor, Fighter, Warrior
But to survive, you must eat
To fight, you must eat
To conquer, you must eat
To live, you must eat

So stop fighting yourself
And fight back, Daniel
Pick up your fork
and fight back, Daniel
You are all that you have, Daniel

Beautiful is something you are
Not something you eat
You can't rely on the way you look to sustain you
This is not enough
An eating disorder is not enough
It will never be enough

So Remember
That 10 million people in the US with an eating disorder are male
Remember that you are one of those 10 million
and I know that you stopped counting numbers months ago
But someone has to tell those 10 million
That their lives matter
Their bodies matter

Their bodies matter
Their bodies matter

Dear eating disorder
My body matters
Dear eating disorder
You can't have my body
Dear eating disorder
You can't have my body because I was here first
Dear eating disorder
I love you

Dear body
Dear Daniel
I love you more