A Denial

I.
We have met late—it is too late to meet,
&nbspO friend, not more than friend!
Death’s forecome shroud is tangled round my feet,
And if I step or stir, I touch the end.
&nbspIn this last jeopardy
Can I approach thee, I, who cannot move?
How shall I answer thy request for love?
&nbspLook in my face and see.

II.
I love thee not, I dare not love thee! go
&nbspIn silence; drop my hand.
If thou seek roses, seek them where they blow
In garden-alleys, not in desert-sand.
&nbspCan life and death agree,
That thou shouldst stoop thy song to my complaint?
I cannot love thee. If the word is faint,
&nbspLook in my face and see.

III.
I might have loved thee in some former days.
&nbspOh, then, my spirits had leapt
As now they sink, at hearing thy love-praise!
Before these faded cheeks were overwept,
&nbspHad this been asked of me,
To love thee with my whole strong heart and head,—
I should have said still ... yes, but smiled and said,
&nbsp“Look in my face and see!”

IV.
But now ... God sees me, God, who took my heart
&nbspAnd drowned it in life’s surge.
In all your wide warm earth I have no part—
A light song overcomes me like a dirge.
&nbspCould Love’s great harmony
The saints keep step to when their bonds are loose,
Not weigh me down? am I a wife to choose?
&nbspLook in my face and see—

V.
While I behold, as plain as one who dreams,
&nbspSome woman of full worth,
Whose voice, as cadenced as a silver stream’s,
Shall prove the fountain-soul which sends it forth;
&nbspOne younger, more thought-free
And fair and gay, than I, thou must forget,
With brighter eyes than these ... which are not wet ...
&nbspLook in my face and see!

VI.
So farewell thou, whom I have known too late
&nbspTo let thee come so near.
Be counted happy while men call thee great,
And one belovèd woman feels thee dear!—
&nbspNot I!—that cannot be.
I am lost, I am changed,—I must go farther, where
The change shall take me worse, and no one dare
&nbspLook in my face and see.

VII.
Meantime I bless thee. By these thoughts of mine
&nbspI bless thee from all such!
I bless thy lamp to oil, thy cup to wine,
Thy hearth to joy, thy hand to an equal touch
&nbspOf loyal troth. For me,
I love thee not, I love thee not!—away!
Here’s no more courage in my soul to say
&nbsp“Look in my face and see.”