​a clouded dream, a crowded room

At the end of it all, I still couldn't save you. No matter how it plays out. And every waking moment I think about it. And I think about trying to follow you. And I cry. And I cry. And I keep crying no matter how hard I try not to. And no matter what, I can't help but blame myself. I wish we could share words, just one more time. And I could see you smile. Such a beautiful smile

But there's constant ringing in my ears at this point (But everything I ended up doing, was all for me), and I don't know what to make of it. (And every scar, and every teardrop, [?]) I think fondly of the time we spent together (I hate the things that I [?]), and if I could say one more thing to you (I hope you can forgive me), I'd tell you: "Even in death, I love you"