A Case Of Misplaced Optimism

I might have found it
I might have found what I've been looking for
But I’m suspicious
I run my fingers 'cross it just to make sure
I might have found it
I'm really pleased because all the things will fall into place
Once I’ve found what I'm searching
Hold my cards, or play my ace

It's such a good idea! I think it's the way to go
Such a good idea, I thought that you should know!

I might have found it, but put it into practise
Would mean that I was free, no!
Born at the wrong time into the wrong house
"This was not meant to be, Not For You No!"
I might have found it, but for all the good it did me
Because I didn't have the guts
To stand up for what's inside me
And what's inside me, the world screwed up

It's such a good idea! I think it’s the way to go
Such a good idea, I thought that you should know!

And all this time I let the music do my talking
A kind of Proxy for the man I want to be
I was a prisoner in this gender from the offset
A hidden person in a world in which I’m apparently free

Am I happy in my life? Like you're happy in yours?
Can you give me some pointers?