60 Seconds! The Musical

60 seconds till the Commies arrive!
I gotta… round up my family
And everything needed to survive-
60 seconds… till Soviets are kicking down our door!

60 seconds! Better make ‘em all count!
I gotta grab cans of soup in sufficient amounts-
I’ve got my son and my daughter
And lots of bottled water for us four…

…four? One… two… three… DOLORES-!

30 seconds till the world goes to heck!
We should’ve…. Moved someplace safer
Like Montreal or maybe Quebec…
Who am I kidding? There’s Communists in Canada as well!

30 seconds till the end of my life!
To find a… map and a gun, and to wrangle my wife!
It’s time to hunker down! The bunker’s down
Where bombs can’t reach or breach our shelter’s shell!

Well, now that we’re down here
Let’s try to stay calm-
-The Communists blew up
Our house with a bomb!

Yes, kind of uncalled for
But we’ll still make it through this
Although Russia tried to crush us
Still the fact is, they blew this

The Reds want us dead
And they’re certain we’re hurting
They’d like to bury us quick
In their thick iron curtain

If we hide here inside here
We’re just askin’ for atrophy
We’ll fall catatonic
In this atomic catastrophe!

What’s one more day of life without the sky or trees?
What’s one more night of fighting through a strange disease?

What’s one more week of woe? It’s just the status quo…
Time passes super slow… What’s one more day?

Our rations are low
So let’s go do some browsing
We’ll start with a trip
To the retirement housing

See, seniors are hoarders
And filthy dang rich!
Old people are mean, kids
And karma’s a b-…ad word…

Way to go, Timmy
You’re another year older!
We got you a med kit
To patch up that shoulder!

The roaches are glowing
And their colour's not quite right…
-They look like they might bite-
-They’re just like your night light!

Ted, have some soup, Dear
It’s much more nutritious-
-What is Dad doing?
-These shrooms are delicious!

It’s dank, to be frank…
Maybe ranks as a junker
But no commie’s gonna bomb me
In the comfort of my bunker!

What’s one more day of starving in a concrete hole?
What’s twenty years to life in here without parole?

What’s one less can of soup? To feed our whole dang group?
What smells like sh- er, poop? What’s one more day?

-Somebody get that!

Ted, this is crazy!
Dolores, relax!
A man’s gotta shave;
All we’ve got is an axe…

I’ll see who’s calling-
Now that’s a superb goal
Ted, dear-
-What is it?!
-Our daughter is purple…

Dad, it’s for you-
They’re in quite a tizzy
It’s some folks from Hill Valley calling-
-Tell them I’m busy!

The gun’s out of ammo
But we’re lucky I brought it
Something was growling
But it’s dead now - I shot it

Forty days in
Time again to take stock:
Timmy’s partially dead
Ted is friends with a sock…

Mary Jane’s hungry-
-Mommy, play us a chorus!
...
You’re really killing it, Dolores…

What’s one more day of waiting for the world to end?
What’s one more night compared to all the weeks we’ve spent?

What’s one last afternoon to cough and barf and swoon-
Who cares! We’re dying soon! What’s one more day-

Just one more day!
One more day!