50LBS

[Intro]
Welcome to the We Skeem: Help Crypt Stop Being a Fucking Fat-Ass Workout Session
Today, we're going to do some exercises to help you be a normal part of society
We're gonna take you from some chunky guy aged between 16 and 40 to a healthy guy aged between 16 and 40

[Verse 1]
Step 1: Stand up from that gamer chair
We gonna shave some pounds like facial hair
Just don't grow it back if they say
"It looks wack" treat it like Fred Durst - never let it make a comeback
Step 2: Go ham before you eat it, man
We'll make you a skinny white dude so you can be a real Stan
Do some jumping jacks and jog in place
I can help you with the fat but I can't fix your face
Step 3: Put down the burger and pick up some weights
Don't keep eating all the food off of your dates' plates
Step 4: Skip the laughs for some workout screams
Be as selective with your food as you are with your rhyme schemes
I know you like reversible lines
Fatso, you, Crypt? Nah, you handsome and fine
You said to tease you til your feathers get rustled
You getting so shook up, I thought it was the Truffle Shuffle
I saw you had your worst day, well I can relate
I thought "man, don't that boy have enough on his plate?"

[Chorus]
I think this jam can help you
Get pissed and sweat it out, boo
Big name and growing assets
But too big to land some ass-sets
They laughing at you now
You know how to shut them up
Don't eat beef, drop the fork
Skip the pork, I'm a dork

[Verse 2]
No more fries, lose them thighs
Lose some weight, become great
Love not hate, own your fate
Wait, wait, wait, that's my mistake
If I get too sweet, you'll mistake me for a cake
We'd talk about this behind your back
But don't got enough time to hike that track
So back to the workout plan, what step are we on?
Who really even cares? Let's finish with a bomb
The only thing you need to remember is this:
It was your fat, not your stache Ex-Mrs Crypt hated to kiss

[Outro]
Ah Crypt that last line hurt my soul
But if I don't make you atleast a little mad, it's not going to work, right?
It's all love, man
Soon, you'll drop those fifty pounds and we won't all want to puke every time we look at you anymore
I know you can do it, brother
Love and respect for the goal
Keep it up, peace
Please don't hate me, Crypt
I love you