412/724 Whore

Ugh, these liberty hoes are such a bore
I’m 412/724 whore
And baby please ignore
These hot pink open sores

Now yinz guys don’t be fussy
I’m here to make my money
Now blow that ooey gooey
On this (?) pussy

Yes I’m a Pittsburgh prostitute
And baby there’s no substitute
Give me 10 dollars and I’ll take a poo
On your new Armani suit

Yeah my pussy is down to there
But my hair is out to here
I get hotter after every beer
I’ll blow you for my bus fare

Yinz guys don’t be fickle
Let me come and tickle
That nasty salty pickle
For a buffalo nickle

Yes I’m a Pittsburgh prostitute
And baby there’s no substitute
Give me 10 dollars and I’ll take a poo
On your new Armani suit
(x2)

Big Ben, Mr. Rogers, Luke Ravenstahl
From Fox Chapel to Homewood baby, I have blown them all
Rick Sebak’s was enormous, Dan Onorato’s was so small
I topped a freak in Frick Park
And I bottomed in the Warhol

I blew a jew in Squirrel Hill
In Shadyside I tea-bagged a fag
I did my brothers in uptown
But their horsedicks make me gag

Yes I’m a Pittsburgh prostitute
And baby there’s no substitute
Give me 10 dollars and I’ll take a poo
On your new Armani suit
(x2)

I’m Sharon Needles
I’m Sharon Needles
And you’re a needle dick
(x2)

Hey baby why don’t you come over here and toss my pretzel salad, hahaha

If you find a better call girl than me, I’ll wrestle an alligator in the middle of Liberty Avenue, hahaha