36 Hours

Movement in the darkness
I'm moving out it a shooting target
Everything I lost I lay it down
I knew the cost but
Just ain't know who to charge yet

I put it on but trust it's all for real
I fish for market, reel em in

Cast a line, don't count out the prophet
Up out my sleep, catching visions from the deep
My grandmama's spirit
Whisper me directions from the peak

Climb the stairs, feel my knees buckle
Head under a wreath, shedding tears
Flood the streets, cousin
Get what you need, loved one

2020, I fell apart, put it on the shelf
1095 days, not a gift I could smell
There's only fire in hell
Refining myself, I won't perspire
I'm held, learn how to light up myself

I made mistakes, hurt the ones I love
Can't call it even
I think about you morning through the evening

All the anger took control
You said for sure, but you didn't mean it
Then I had to gon and watch you leave
Through the frigid season

Had to accept that I sold my heart
On a silver spoon
Thought I had to to get to you
Challenged my principles

Drowning love in the kiddie pool
Just tryna swim with who
Now a nigga just missing who?
Shit, all I did for you

Guess it was meant to bruise
But never break
Got all the stone on my face
Everything stolen, repaid

Every word golden I lay
Victory over the grave
Hosanna, Yeshua, פ

Way before the trife
Way before I called your father
Looking for advice
Wading in unholy water
Asking, "is this life?"

Metro north-ing to Poughkeepsie
With my little light
I was tryna live my life with you getting right

Back when it was civil in the civic
Open hearts, I'm rolling dice
Day or night
Anywhere you'd go, I'd take a flight

I was your shadow, bae
You my little poltergeist
Now every night I spend it
Learning how to love me twice

I do it better than you ever could
You let me down
Couldn't accept me
Didn't see it, then I see it now

Reflecting all of my doubts
And face down how they found him
Put it all in my crown
In shallow waters was drowning

I came to me
I hold my own
I smoke my last
No longer ashamed to be

Way beneath the sirens
No more
Couldn't even find him no more
Wasn't even trying no more