2017 Emmy Awards Opening Song

[Intro: Stephen Colbert]
Look, guys, I know the world outside is getting crazy, but look at the bright side—television's never been better
Good point, Stephen, but I bet you can't sing it
Oh, really?
Mhmm

[Verse 1: Stephen Colbert]
Dear friends, the next time the world's problems make you feel the blues
Turn on any channel, well, except the news
'Cause troubles aren't so troublin' when you see them in HD
The world's a little better on TV
So don't you worry about global warming or the Middle East
Walk on the bright side with the recently deceased
My HBO password is SEXBOT123
Everything is better on TV
When the world's so scary you close your door and hide
Open up, let Archer slip inside (uh, phrasing?)
Watch This Is Us, you'll learn it feels so good to feel so sad
With Randall, Kev and Kate, she probably killed her dad (hey!)
And Stranger Things is much less strange than our reality
Everything is better on TV
I'd like to vote for (Selina Meyer) Selina Meyer
She's pretty foxy
Imagine if your president was not beloved by Nazis
The Americans has hotter spies than the Russian inquiry
Even treason's better on TV
You don't have to take it from my song and dance
It's time to give this thing a chance

[Verse 2: Chance The Rapper]
Yo Stephon, what a beautiful segue
Let me take over, I can make us some headway
I love television, it's a pleasant distraction
But just imagine takin' action
I like Brooklyn Nine Nine, in fact, I'm addicted
But where's the cop show where one gets convicted?
I miss the classics, I still think M*A*S*H rocks
But if Hawkeye can be a soldier, why not Laverne Cox?
Bob's Burgers makes you smile, but please don't ignore
The decline of the independently family-run store
I get it, them finales, they got you focused
Just record the show and try to show up at the protest

[Verse 3: Stephen Colbert]
The nightly news might feel you with fears and phobias
Calm yourself by watchin' this dystopia
Look on the brightside, Handmaids, at least your healthcare's free
But our future's always brighter on TV
Let's go!

[Verse 4: Stephen Colbert]
So friends I know that the world may be the worst we've ever seen
But it's never been better on your TV screen
'Cause even though old Kimmy agrees we're up Schmidt's creek
You can just whip out your smartphone and stream shows while you pee
You can binge until your muscles start to atropy
'Til you can't tell the difference between fact and fantasy
Then everything is better on TV
Yes, everything is better on TV