20105pm

(O.A.K.)
Lately I been feeling paranoid, uh
Black hole taking all my fuckin' joy, uh
Not again, fall in a depression coma
Next thing I know, I wake up all alone, uh
Wonder when this fuckin' pain gonna dissipate
Wonder when this fuckin' rain gonna go away
Wonder when I'm gonna wake up from this nightmare
Wonder if I'm gonna see God when I get there (ayy)
Disappointment to my family, who am I to say
That I deserve a little love? I'm just a waste of space
Wish my addictions woulda took me when they had the chance
But now I'm clean, can't go back to that shit again
Scared to lose myself, but I'm scared of change
Like why the fuck do I gotta be this way?
Like why the fuck do I hurt the ones I love?
Like why the fuck I live to see the motherfuckin' sun?
One more hit and I'll get clean (I promise)
One more gram, and I mean it (I promise)
20 dollars every week (fuck)
Get a bag, spent to lean (ugh)
Does knowing me more, lead to loving me less?
I got this hole in my chest, I got a bunch of regrets
Shit I tried to express
But they aren't hearing me now, just like they weren't hearing me then (uhh)
Hoping God will forgive me, uh
Am I worthy of forgiveness?
Father, I know I'm a sinner
Please forgive me, I'm repenting
They gave me an inch, no motivation for the rest of the mile
Bullet casings, I put them in a pile
Got me stretching for the yard, no clue if I'll make it further
Wanted love, I got a scar and a burn in return
Take what I wanna, bitch, fuck what I earned
If you wanna start beef, you can pull up and scrap
But otherwise, get the fuck up off of my back
It's funny how I'm never enough, but I'm always too much
I been fucking chasing my soul, but I'll prolly just give up
Kinda wish that you'd lied, kinda wish you wasn't honest
Kinda with that l'd died, which I wasn't so heartless
Am I worthy of heaven when I get up there to the pearly white gates?
Did I do enough good in my life to be considered one of the greats?
Did she love me or not at the end of my time when it's all said and done?
Or did I make irreversible mistakes that I should never have done, uh?
Do you accept my soul forever, or am I just gonna end up in hell?
Can you please help save my soul, God? 'Cuz if I lose it, I lose myself
2:01:05pm and, I think I might be out of control
And if I don't have you with me, Father, I know I'm gonna lose all hope
Yeah, up at night, I can't sleep
Detached from reality
Constant thoughts in my head on repeat
Like if I fuck up, are you gonna leave, huh?
Yeah, if I hurt you, are you gonna stay?
If I lash out, will you be there telling me that shit gon' be okay?
Motherfuckers lyin' on my name, and I can't catch a break, bitch
Motherfuckers tryna shapeshift
Morphing like they fix pain and shit
Buggin' like it was a laced hit
Hyper like I'm sniffin' 'caine, shit
If you were mad, would you stay? (Mad, would you stay?)
If it was bad, would you stay? (Bad, would you stay?)
I gotta know this shit (I gotta know this shit)
Would you love me the same? (Love me the same, ayy)
(Ayy, love me the s-)
(Would you love me the sa-)
(Uh, would you love me the s-)