Like the track it’s riffing off of, Dan starts by indulging in a bit of braggadocio, but very quickly starts roasting himself.
[Intro]
Yeah, it's Illmatic, yeah
(It's Bullmatic, actually)
It's Illmatic, yeah
(It's Bull- it's Bullmatic, I just couldn't find-)
It's Illmatic, huh
(I just couldn't find a proper instrumental
Without him t-talking over the-)
[Hook]
One time for your mind, one time
Yeah, whatever
One time for your mind, one time
Yo, whatever (It is Bullmatic, though)
One time for your mind, one time
Hey yo, Nas? Kick that fuckin' rhyme
(Yoink! Queue-jumping)
[Verse 1]
I'm picking a quite good rap, on top of a quite good track
Being quite good at rap, I'm quite good at that
Plug in your headphones and listen to the stereo
I'm navigating neurons in your head through heavy flows
A sonic hemorrhage, have you got a beverage?
It's thirsty work being such a bloody clever kid
I like inventing mental raps, some things I never did
Like pushing Richey Edwards head-first off the Severn Bridge
Melanin deficient, the sun gives me much redder skin
Than the stereotypically depicted Native American
I burn so easily that I'm banned in the EEC
For health and safety reasons, being tanned's an unachievable dream
People would scream and see my peely skin
And being a bit obese, I wish that I was really thin
But the lifestyle I've picked doesn't allow for it
Too much curry, whiskey, I can't even make my trousers fit
I'm proud of it
[Hook]
One time for your mind, one time
Yeah, whatever
One time for your mind, one time
I sound clever
Hey yo, Nas? Fuck that, man, that shit was fat
But kick that for them gangsters man, fuck all that
(Ah! Language.)
[Verse 2]
I'm a rowdy Brit, once I've had a drink or three
When someone says the word 'prick', I think of me
I don't like myself so I forget it with drink
Until I'm retching up my breakfast with my head in the sink
I've fallen off the wagon, poppin' down the pub with Adam
Calling Jack up, knocking back Jack until I'm fucking lagging
I could be spending my time on reinventing my life
But have you tried Strawberry Kopparberg, it's ever so nice
Open up wide, it's medicine time
Except I've lost my wallet now and that's the end of the line
Can't even get a kebab, can't even get in a cab
Looks like I'm trekking it back at the end of the night, shite
Heavy drinker, heavy thinker; bevvy sinker
Wake up with a headache laying in bed next to a sweaty minger
Why do I do it to myself, I could be saving cash
Rather than wasting it behaving like a blatant ass
It takes me back to Monday Club with Jack at Hog's Head
Inhaling flaming gas chambers, knock'em back and drop dead
Nowadays I keep my ass clean and keep to caffeine
Twaty Dan with glass in hand, that man's a has-been
I blow raspberries in his general direction
He could've been spending time investing in his next profession
So there's a lesson: time is valuable and finite
Work hard and play hard but get the dividing line right
If I had tried to write till all my rhymes were tight
I wouldn't just rely on tired similes to blow me up like dynamite
[Hook]
One time for your mind, one time
I sound clever
One time for your mind, one time
Yeah, whatever
One time for your mind, one time
Yo, from ninety-two to ninety-nine
[Outro]
From ninety-two to ninety-nine
I know what you mean, Nas
The golden years!
When David Collier was Chairman of Luton Town
Dan Bull released 2 Times 5 Your Mind on Thu Mar 26 2015.