119th

[Intro]
I'm from Spanish Harlem, yeah
I'm from the Barrio, yo

[Verse]
My pops was a deacon
Only seen him on the weekends
Only seen him when he sleepin'
Yo, my pops whipped my ass
He'd rather use his belt instead of quality time
I still love him though, I still hug him though
He never spoke about women, never gave advice
I don't remember if you taught me how to ride a bike
I can't remember if you even taught me how to fight
I still love him though, that's my dad
When I see him, still hug him though, I can't blame my dad
For my upbringin', the church was so corrupted
We had a pastor that told him beat his kids for nothin'
Still love him though, I'ma keep repeatin'
I'ma keep rebukin', holy spirits speakin'
Uh, yo, holy spirits speakin'
He told me stay in school, though you gotta work
Tuesday, Friday, Sunday went to church
I'm from 119th, shout out to G.O.D
That's George, that's Ed Black [?]
Told me if I sold crack on the block, he would help
I was misguided, but I wanted money
I seen KC, and I like it like that
Lookin' up at bro, I wanna get it like that
Shout out my homie, Stacks, I know him as Ralph
Shout out to homie, Hum, I know him as Jeffrey
And his brother, Victor, we was all amigos
You can ask our 'migo, my nigga Super Dave
I'm from 119th, Ray Ben's mother yellin' out the window
Playin' baseball with Jor' Salito
I'm from 119th, buildin' 222, they killed my homie, Lucky
When he was fifteen, shout out to Erika
That's Lucky little sister, we the same age
Apartment 1D, I was born and raised
The crack era, Rudy Giuliani days
I could see it now, jumpin' over vows
I'm talkin' Ted Smooth, or the Renegades
[?] my brother, Stevie Green Eyes
I'm from 119th, PS 96
I had Ms. Centron, me and Erik
We call him Neeso, y'all call him Segal
I'm from Spanish Harlem, Taino Towers
Shout out to Gusto, that's my heart, for real
My nigga, Cold BZA, he made it out the steel
Shout out my homie, Mikey, shout out the homie, Joe
Shout out my brother, Papi, that's my nigga, yo
He used to hold me down, my brother, Kyseen
He used to play ball, L I mean
I'm from 119th, shout out to Luka [?]
I'm from East Harlem, shout out to Purple City
Before Shieste Bub, remember Wu-Tang?
Shot a video on 2nd Ave, what's it called?
"Ice Cream," right in front of Wagner
Right in front of Tainos, I'm from Spanish Harlem
Went to boy's club, shout out to Ray and Gill
Rest in peace Boogie, I knew him as Josh
Shout out to Ms. D, and the drama class
I'm from the boy's club, R.I.P. Alonzo
He always smiled and laughed, shout out to Jessie Sap
Shout out my brother, Bucky, can't forget Joell
My first girl, Yolanda, puppy love for real
Shout out to Evon, she was one of the baddest
Up in El Barrio, I'm from Spanish Harlem
2nd Ave Sadonia, that's my church's name
Rest in peace Ms. Franko, I miss her dearly
She taught me everything, the book of revelations
Church on Sunday, nigga, my brother played the drums
Now he's my engineer, I went to church on Sunday
I took the bread and wine, I was baptized
At the age of twelve, I went for church on Sunday
They used to laugh at me, I was so embarressed
Never hid my Bible, never worship idols
I used to preach the word, in front of my peers
They would speak in tongues, jumpin' out of chairs
That's the holy ghost, I used to go to church
I'm talkin' every Sunday, and couldn't shut me up
I was askin' questions, breakin' all the rules
I was so bad up in Sunday school
I'm from Spanish Harlem

[Interview: Bodega Bamz, Ohla & Frank the Butcher]
Now being that they were, you know, your parents were strict, or your father was on the stricter side and religion played such a role in your house, obviously, it's not that no more. So if this culture, this street culture, even the way you guys — your appearance and the way you look, tattoos and — I mean, I ain't even realize Ohla has tattoos inside of his ear, right?
Mm hm
Yeah, ha ha
So it's very common today. I mean, we're all tatted, we live a different life, but when you started makin' the transition into those types of things, when you started tattooing and outwardly, you know what I'm sayin'? Outwardly, you start looking like how you feel on the inside, right?
Word
"This is who I am." How did your parents, how did your father especially, how does he react with that?
Oh, man. I remember when I first got my tattoo, I was uh, I got, I had a tattoo on my arm, we both got 'em, and we
Same time?
We still lived, we still lived with our parents. I think I was like seventeen, and uh, I hid my shit for like a week
Yeah
Like when I go, when I go in the shower, I come out with uh, with a joint and then when he seen it, I think he just looked at it and shook his head
Mm hm
He just goes pffft
Even the earrings, when we had earrings, same thing
Earrings too, he just, he just shakes his head, like he's not gonna tell us dadadadada
Yo bro, what's even more crazier, bro, is that I have friends who grew up with me, in church, who have tattoos on their body, and they father still ain't see them, and they had tattoos for ten years. That's the, the, the discipline that they have — that the parents have that's distilled in a child. Like they, they respect they parents so much
They're adults and they still have it
They're adults now and they will not show their parents what they got when they was eighteen years old, nineteen years old, five/ ten years ago. Like still to this day, you know what I'm sayin'? They still hide they tattoos and shit
So you guys, I mean, after that point at fifteen years old, when your dad kind of uh, let you know that he's on your side, you know what I'm sayin'?
Mm hm
I mean, I think we got too big for the beatings
Yeah, ha, that too
I mean, even just in terms of like "I'm gonna accept you guys for who you are"
Mm hm
Yeah, you know like, he's like
You know what I'm mean? "Okay, I see you"
It became more of a connection at that age
He, he also told me, yo, too that it had a lot to do with the church he was in. Like, you gotta understand like, we [?] you know what I'm sayin'? That's the religion that I grew up in and um, you know Christianity, and there's certain churches that are far more strict than other churches. There's certain churches that don't even let you wear earrings
Absolutely
Or shorts
And he — or shorts
Or listen to music
Or listen to music, so he was — we came from that type of church
Yo, we came from a church where the husband couldn't sit with his wife
Yeah, it was, it was separate
It was damas and caballeros, left and right, women and men
So the, the moment he left that church — not to say that God wasn't in that church, but it was just a different kind of discipline in there
Absolutely
So the moment he left that church and went to a more, uh, free church, that's when he started lookin' at his sons like "nah, they not that bad, man. My kids is good"
It's like he was measuring you by the strict guidelines of this church
Yeah, his leader, the leader
Remember how I told you, when I was a few months old, he asked that pastor "how can I raise my kid with" — you know what I mean, "how can I raise him correctly?" And the pastor replied, "raise him how you were raised." You know what I'm sayin'? So that was the kind of mentality about your child, like, you know what I mean, like it was more like, they can't do this, they can't do that. "You're goin' to Hell if you eat meat on Sunday." It was that type of shit, you know what I'm sayin'? Like, that was, they were very, very strict, and I got — once again, not to say there wasn't love in there
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah
It wasn't God's love, but, they were almost like, like fanatico, it was fanatics
Well, at that point, it's not — you know what I mean? Believing in God is one thing, but to, like you said the discipline, the [?] around that particular religion, that's when you forget that it's not God, it's the man creating the system to support their belief
Exactly, exactly
And you guys were kind of caught, caught in that
Exactly, yeah

[Outro]
This concludes the first part of this cassette. Please turn the cassette over and begin again