#101 Russian Roulette

[Verse 1]
Should've eaten breakfast, but I cried instead
I'm trying to heal, but it's fucking with my head
Wake up everyday playing Russian Roulette
Will I be happy today, or do I have to pretend?
Ahhh, have to pretend, ahhh, have to pretend
Heavy list of things you would demand
Became a slave, caught up in your wasteland
I was scared thinking that nobody'd listen
So at 12 years old, I learned how to pretend
Ahhh, have to pretend, ahhh, have to pretend

[Chorus]
Your smile made me a mess
As you got me to undress
Chances are I lose my head
Playing this Russian Roulette
I never thought that I meant
Anything more than just sex
Chances are I end up dead
Playing this Russian Roulette

[Verse 2]
Little blondie dreaming what it's like to be free
But blame and shame is all that I could believe
Used to hate myself on what you did to me
I thought that if I hated me enough, then you'd finally love me
Ahhh, finally love me, ahhh, but you never loved me
Trying not to come up with a plot of revenge
As I put me back together with a bottle in my hand
We're not teaching boys what it means to consent
Instead, we're teaching girls about how to pretend
Have to pretend, we don't have to pretend

[Bridge]
I can't wait, 'till we don't have to pretend, we don't have to pretend
I can't wait, 'till we don't have to pretend, we don't have to pretend

[Chorus]
Your smile made me a mess
As you got me to undress
Chances are I lose my head
Playing this Russian Roulette
I never thought that I meant
Anything more than just sex
Chances are I end up dead
Playing this Russian Roulette

[Outro]
I know there'll come a day where I don't fear you in my mind
Fuck how you would pray on me in the middle of the night
Fuck how you would pray, fuck how you would pray on me
Fuck how you would pray on me in the middle of the fucking night