100 Bars

[Intro: PEZ]

Yeah

Adjusting on the camera

Some kind of personal shit

Feel me

[Verse: PEZ]

Now, I know there's probably some people thinking Pez went astray
I know I been away a while please just let me explain
It's strange, 'cause in a way everything's been moving forward
So I been acting like it's all good [laugh]
The truth is these two years I've been in a rut
Head down, feeling stuck, nearly felt like giving up
Tryna write an album but I've barely written in a month
I say "It's cool, I'm nearly finished up" whome I kidding? Fuck
Underneath I've been freaking out
Need a hand but no one's reaching out
It's my fault, 'cause I have the attitude I don't expect help from no one
Problem is if you don't expect help it won't come
So I woke up, and seemed to hit a stage where I froze up
Don't know why
Guess it's just the point where I lost myself
Because I feel like I'm not myself
Man, it's like I been - caught up in this whirlwind
Just watching while the world spins
My girlfriend's the only one that's keeping me sane
Every night I hear her say I hate to see you in pain, same
I hate when you see my face when I'm crying like -
"Maybe it's me?", "Baby, I'm trying", shit
Pez & 6 said: 'show the real me'
And I just wanna be the man I really know that I can be
I can't keep leaning on you so dependently
And there's hope that I might cope eventually
'Cause it doesn't work
And in the end it only makes me suffer worse
I don't know what to do 'cause -
Yeah that's what I tell myself
Just a little bit more time and I can help myself
I know that really that'll never work but I can't help myself
'Cause it's sick, but now I think I'm addicted to the pain
So I'm tricked into persisting with this game
These voices in my head are they real or are they fake
Doesn't matter I still hear what they say
That's the problem
So I sit there just thinking as I watch 'em
Maybe if I moved on, then I can leave 'em be
See the dream I was thinking of I went and got it
So it's hard 'cause - this is what I said I wanted
Just a bit of success, as I went I guess I got so obsessed with that aim I became drained from the chase of it
Fame had a taste of it
Swallowed what I could but didn't really like the taste of it
In the wake of it - I guess I've had some time to think
Now it's plain to see - getting grave's disease
Is just a reflection of a pain I've always felt
The fact that I seem to steer that hate towards myself
Used to living with this angst enfrightened me
That's fighting me 'cause I always seemed to have this anxiety
That's why the fame was never really my intention
Always found it kinda hard to deal with the attention
Not to mention being someone they look up to
Every night was terrifying 'cause it was something to live up to
So I'm 'bout to step on stage at this sold out show
All I'm thinking is I wish that I could go back home
And be alone, just block it out
It seems easy when people are not around
To concede to my demons and just wash 'em down 'til there's no pain, and keep pretending that I'm okay
It's funny, then I wonder why it won't change
Tell my girl I'm still hurt "yea you don't say"
And it's a feeling I don't really wanna locate
It's probably why I seldom even think about that album
'Cause as much as things went up quick it came down hard
Let myself become an outcast and it's hard to begin
Where I guess I didn't fit the mould
Image had me pigeonholed, shit was getting old
And I started to think as I'm looking at my journey through this life were in
I guess I always been that guy that doesn't quite fit in
Instead of tryna figure out the reason why this is
Maybe shit would just easier if I give in
Start acting like a Hip-Hop head
I could pretend but in the end it's really just not - Pez
And if perception is the reason we seem to be driven
It should be a relief to be different, it's not though
It's unknow'd, God knows it's a long road where you won't be secure 'till you mature a bit and start to figure out
That what these other people think doesn't mean a thing
Uahh fuck 'em there's no point in getting stuck over nothin'
While you hope they understand who cares if somebody doesn't
And yea there's always gonna be the fuckheads who judge it
If you're not careful you'll forget about the others who love it
That's what I did, so to my fans I'm sorry that you saw me fall down
I'm in this hole within my mind I'm tryna crawl out
That's what this is, 6 said to let it all out
I'm glad I did, I think that's enough for now, I'm out, yea

[End]