1 to 10

"So when you find yourself in those situations, the ones you told me about, like when you wanna take a pumpkin and shove it up your boss's ass, or when you wanna beat a woman to death with her own baby, you can use this technique as another option. Now what you need to do, is just count to ten. It's so simple, Scott, just put down the blowtorch, the hammer, or whatever you have in your hand, take a deep cleansing breath, and count to ten."

Well ain't that just fuckin' peachy
I just get turned round right
I'm turned round again
I feel my skull getting itchy
It'll keep me up all night

Scratching again
And counting to ten
Huh!

Sucking black hole in my stomach
Get no sustenance, no way
To fill it up
It's got my soul on the run, think
It just went down my pants

Don't really care
If it happened down there
Oh god I'm horny again
And counting to ten

Life and survival ain't supposed to be rivals
But war's begun between food and fun
I'm stuck in the middle with less than a little
It's not enough, it winds me up
Once again
One to ten

Well ain't that just fuckin' ducky
I finally found my niche
My reason to exist
On life's highway I work at the Stucky's
Washing every dish

It's a mystery no more
I'm king janitor
Scrubbing again
And counting to ten

Life and survival ain't supposed to be rivals
But war's begun between food and fun
I'm stuck in the middle with less than a little
It's not enough, it winds me up
Once again
One to ten

Well ain't that just fucking precious
I'm trying to look cute again
Like when I was a boy
Just what bizarre kind of message
Am I trying to send?

A boy among men
Can't be as old as my friends
I'm at the mirror again
I'm counting to ten
Yeah, I'm counting to ten
Ooh, I'm counting to ten, yeah
Counting to ten, yeah
Counting to one
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine...