Beige Curtains

I'm sorry for that time I had an idea
I'm sorry for that time I told a joke
I didn't mean to step all over your ego
It's my fault that my heart broke

I'm glad I got to meet your brand new girlfriend
All I have to say is "wow"
I can't believe you met a match so perfect
You must feel like a big man now

'Cause your new girlfriend's like a pair of beige curtains
Not good, not bad, just there
I couldn't pick her out of lineup
'Cause she's as special as air
Your new girlfriend is linoleum tile
Not hot, not not, just grey
Your only silent, malleable furniture
I wish I was that way

I'm sorry for that time I had an opinion
I'm sorry for that time I had a goal
I don't want to detract from your powerful presence
By admitting that I have a soul

It must be nice to feel so smart and superior
It must be good to know that she won't leave
And she won't notice when you fuck other people
At least that's what she'll let you believe

'Cause your new girlfriend's like a pair of beige curtains
Not good, not bad, just there
I couldn't pick her out of lineup
'Cause she's as special as air
Your new girlfriend is linoleum tile
Not hot, not not, just grey
Your own giggly undemanding seat filler
I wish I was that way

If I was like her maybe I would have
The ultimate prize that is you
Just dampen my essence and learn to want nothing
And all my dreams could come true
'Cause who needs me when I have you?

And your new girlfriend's like a pair of beige curtains
Not good, not bad, just there
I couldn't pick her out of lineup
'Cause she's as special as air
Your new girlfriend is linoleum tile
Not hot, not not, just grey
Your own pointless dumpy little blow-up doll
I wish I was that way
I wish I was that way