Throwdown: Joel vs Caboose

[Jeremy Dooley]
It’s time for a Rooster Teeth Throwdown!
Joel Heyman
Versus Caboose
Rappers ready?
Throwdown!

[Joel Heyman]
Now hold on a second
How can you battle my lyrics?
Because if it wasn’t for my voice
Would you even exist?

I don’t know where you came from
If the truth be told
Cause if you were based off me
Your suit would’ve been gold

We all mock your talk and walk
A laughing stock
But blame the writers that you ended up
Dumber than rocks

I guess I shouldn’t be shocked
That you’re not reacting
To the fact you’d disappear
If I just stopped acting!

Your popularity is completely
Because of me
I rule a comedy tyranny
Just going “BOOP BOP BEEP”

Taking you down in this fight
Won’t give me a thrill
Now give me a button
So I can earn some cash off this kill

I can’t believe I’m shouting
Wasting rap constructing powers
On this creepy crazed creation
Of my amazing acting prowess

You got fourteen seasons
But now I’m running this show
Now say hello to my friend...
OH GOD! CINNAMON! NO!!

[Caboose]
Hello
I’m Michael J. Caboose
And Mister Sargent told me
I have something to prove

(Sarge: Dirty Blue...)

So here I go!
A spinning lyrical blur
I’m gonna load up my rifle
And help you out with my words

Cause I’m on the Blue Team!
I’m a friend you can trust
Feared my Sargent, Simmons, Gruff
And even Admiral Buttercrust

I’d ask you to be my pal
But that might get you killed
And you can’t be my best friend
That position is filled!

I have a following, honoring
All the accidental ongoing
Falling of Church
I'm promising I’m swallowing!

I’ve been told I’m getting better
And I know that it’s true
Because it’s been a whole month
Without Ctrl + F + U!

I’m told I’m pretty good at rapping
And you’re not to shabby
But you seem awfully mad
I’ll call your Mister McCrabby

Challenging me to a rap
Really seems kind of crazy
Cause I’m Michael J. Caboose
And I hate babies

[Joel Heyman]
You killed your own leader
And still thinks he’s your friend?
You thought a bomb came to life
And then died in the end

I’m a powerful player
So you better be warned
You might be strong as an ox

(Caboose: But I don’t have any horns!)

Shut up
All your humors just a creation of mine
You’re a killer and probably the dumbest
Criminal mind

I decide what you say
I’m the king of this house
Now I’ll take back control
Adam, you get the mouse

[Caboose:]
Wait, Adam was here?
Huh, where did he go?
I wanted to say bye, like you did
To that How To Show

I’m everyone’s favorite
And I’m not a killer
You won’t make me back away
Right, Principal Miller?

I was once best friends
With a floating laser eye!
You’ll never win cause
I have a plan if I die

Church
I want you to have my orange juice

(Church: Goddamnit, just shut up Caboose!)

...

[Caboose]
Okay
MJ Caboose right here!!
System UA!
Blue pop, 2016 bitches!
Hello