The Seventh Wife of Henry VIII

Pat-a-cake pat-a-cake baker's man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
If you can't bake a cake, bake a crepe or a flan
And bring it to my wedding with The Man

Patati, patata, pataphysique
They say the king of England has a real mean streak
His first six wives had their heads chopped off
But Henry VIII is in love

Well he's my king, baby, he's my prize
The most eligible married man alive
He's so great, and I know my fate
The seventh wife of Henry VIII

Catherine of Aragon could only bear daughters
Anne Boleyn she went in like a heiffer to the slaughter
Anne of Cleves was a German bore
Catherine Howard a total whore
He had a son with Jane Seymour
You're history, Catherine Parr
You've all had your time
Heads off, he's mine!

Well I know he might seem to be a big brute
But he waits on me hand and foot
And when I blow upon his flute
He plays 'Greensleeves' on a lute

Well I am beautiful and I am slim
I'm the only one who understands him
He may get angry, but I don't care
He's a Tudor, they've got red hair

I know his executioner, a really sweet guy
I promise you that he would never hurt a fly
We're really good friends, he's got lovely big hands
He says Henry has plans for me

Some people say because his wives all died
Marrying him would be just like committing suicide
Don't be scared for me, you'll see
There's nothing scary, honestly
I understand the man inside the king, I'll be fine
It's so different this time
Heads off, he's mine!