The Story Of My Life

This is the story of my life. I promise not to exaggerate, I promise not to fabricate. ??? ??? let me give it to you real the way it happened. Pulling no punches. Come and take a walk through my world, let's go. Come and take a look inside the mind of Focus, see what I see. Yeah, Lost World

So I was raised by a lady with a lot on her plate
Paps wasn't there and I felt like the product of hate
She'd be up partying late and I'd be in my room trying to sleep
Waking up each time a bottle would break
And all her friends thought it was funny to give me sips of liquor
Now people wonder why I'm sick and bitter
But she needed me so I kick it with her
Wishing for a different picture, missing out on childhood
Around 8 I started drifting quicker
Making friends with similar conditions I was getting bigger
Paying less attention I was tripping
I was quick to this or learning how to twist a switch
Or flip a zip and mag ??
Lost little boy but that isn't even half of it

"What would you do if you knew too. Oh what would you do if I told you the story of my life?"

Grandma tried her best to help but couldn't understand me
And there was a division in the family
'Cause mom had her demons and I guess that they were tired of helping her up
And then I came along and made it worse
Hey yo it hurts but I numbed the pain with various addictions
A heavy cross to bear the boy was carrying it with him
Faced the scariest decisions with a steady hand
And I remember when nobody but the therapist would listen
Just a kid and still I lived to die preparing for collision
'Cause they said the only thing ahead was burial or prison
And I learned from mom how to beat the load was getting high
But I couldn't understand at why at night she'd sit and cry
That's what happens when you live a lie
And she knew that she passed it to her precious little bastard
And she loved me so much, but so what
I turned the stereo up and blasted
I was ready for a casket I wasn't ready to grow up

"What would you do if you knew too. Oh what would you do if I told you the story of my life?"

My addictions got worse, mom started to beat hers
But now she's got cancer, doctors trying to treat her
Nathan died, Deck died, I attempted suicide
Wondering if they found my body tomorrow who would cry
And who am I to make these people miss me when I know I'm leaving
I got a letter, my grandma's having trouble breathing
I got a warrant, I'm out here on the hustle creeping
I got a gun and I will use it for no fucking reason
But momma got clean, before she left me she said Jesse I believe in you
It only got this heavy so that you could be a stronger man
And when my grandma passed I said damn the past
I'm gonna make 'em proud again, I'm ready
Now I'm older and I know that I owe it to them to grow
So I had to knock the chip off my shoulder and let it go
I put my soul into my flow and then I pour it in the mic
I'm just telling you the story of my life