Marvin I Love You

Long ago, in another galaxy, there lived a gloomy robot. His name was Marvin. He was getting old, and a bit rusty, and nobody liked him. One day, being very bored, he thought it would be a good idea to tidy up all his old programs in his dusty old databank. There were tapes in there he hadn't played for years. Checking them through he accidentally pushed a wrong button, and suddenly he heard:

Marvin, I love you
Marvin, I love you

Well, he was sure he hadn't heard that ever before. He wasn't even sure he'd heard it that time, because, being a bored and gloomy robot, he hadn't really been listening. What was worse, he couldn't remember what button he'd accidentally pressed. Anyway, he tried a few switches at random, and suddenly:

Marvin, I love you
Marvin, I love you
Remember, I'm programmed for you
I know we'll work out
Still, you could break my heart
Loving you is all I can do

Well, he heard it that time alright, no doubt about it. Who was singing these strange words? Was it another robot, or some strange life form from the distant past, when he was a young robot and people still made the occasional attempt to like him? He couldn't make it out at all. So, he pushed a few buttons again

Marvin, I love you
Marvin, I love you
That was it!
I tried to contact Marvin. I don't know why, but he never replied. Perhaps one day he'll answer. Till then, I guess, I'll keep on... trying
Marvin, I love you
Marvin, I love you
Remember, I'm programmed for you

"Does not compute," he thought, miserably. But at least he knew where to find it in his databank. From then on, he could play it whenever he wanted, think about what he'd missed, and live miserably ever after

Marvin, I love you
Marvin, I love you
Remember, I'm programmed for you
I know we'll work out
Still, you could break my heart
Loving you is all I can do
Marvin, I love you
Marvin, I love you...