The Frozen Logger

[Verse 1]
As I sat down one evening
Twas in a small café
A forty-year-old waitress
To me these words did say (She did say)

[Verse 2]
"Your lover must be a logger
Not just a common bum (Common bum)
'Cause nobody but a logger
Stirs his coffee with his tum, thumb"
And then she went on to say

[Verse 3]
"My lover was a logger
There are none like him today
If you pour a little whiskey upon it
He would eat a bale of hay" (Bale of hay) *cough*

[Verse 4]
"He never shaved his whiskers
From off of his thorny hide (Thorny hide)
He'd just pound them in with a hammer
And then, he'd bite 'em off inside"
Ooh, ah, he was really a tough fellow

[Verse 5]
"My lover came to see me
Twas on one freezing day (Brr-rr-rr)
He held me in his fond embrace
And broke three vertebrae"

[Verse 6]
"He kissed me when he left me
So hard he broke my jaw (Crushed!)
And I couldn't speak to tell him
He forgot his mackinaw"

[Verse 7]
"I saw my lover leaving
He was saunterin' through the snow (Through the snow)
He was going gaily homeward
It was a hundred degrees below" (Dee below)

[Verse 8]
"The weather, it tried to freeze him
It tried it's level best (Level best)
At fifty degrees below zero
He buttoned up his vest"
My, he was a dapper fellow
You would have been crazy about him

[Verse 9]
"Now, it froze clear through to China (Ah-so)
It froze to the stars above
At one thousand hundred degrees below zero (Below)
It froze my logger love" (Br-rr-rr)

[Verse 10]
"And so, I lost my lover
And to this café he did come (He did come)
And here I wait 'til someone
Stirs his coffee with his thumb"