My 85th Rodeo

I see the circles under your eyes and it's been years
I've got questions and you've gone grey since you've moved here
But our seats at the bar feel the same
We can run but we're back here anyway
Smile at the worst of things. Laugh when I hate everything

I can re-read every exchange, every display of misplaced energy
What was I, high? I must've been drunk to think that we were as good as it looked
When the best of days were the worst of times that I can't get off of my mind

In this life, some things go unheard
I pretend not to notice cause this anxiety hurts
I can still find you in crowds. You're impressed and I am floored right now
But that doesn't really change much

When the best of days were the worst of times that I can't get off of my mind
I've waited but we'll never begin. Kept me miserable and thin
When the best of days were the worst of times, I protect my heart from my own mind
It's hard when add to the list of things I can't make up
You think about me on New Years