MVP vs. Real Name Brandon

[Round 1: MVP]
Y'all know St. Louis run battle rap, RIGHT!?
I kill thangs!
Steel bang
Roll his fat ass into a river...they literally gon' have to REEL (Real) NAME!
Ever since I stepped in this tournament, they fit me as some damn scrub
Well, we got a motherfuckin' problem, Houston...like Whitney in the bathtub!
I'm 'bout to O.D.
I clutch toasters, get slumped over
At any moment, I can grab a nickel, have nine sent (cent), or a buck-fifty
Shit'll look like a car cupholder!
Aye, who is this?
The staff done set you up
You losin', bitch
Wit' yo' old "Who the fuck is this-uh? Pagin' me at five forty-?"
Man, it's about to get gruesomе quick
Up here lookin' like thе Notorious
So when he die, just ask P, "Did he (Diddy) have somethin' to do wit' it?"
You fuckin' faggot!
Man, what color is your skin - magnet?
I mean, I can see that you a big dog
But to me, he a Little Rascal
It's gon' take at least the two of y'all kids just to stand in my jacket
I get up, blast!
It take you a whole hour just to get to yo' point
But when I punch, niggas don't get up fast
Y'all seen that movie Dead Presidents?
He about this close to the money, but his setups trash!
Y'all think dude be real!?
Every time he talk, it sound like it came from a film
What is this, a movie, Real (reel)?
I load magazines, explode in the spleen
I will box a faggot head: I got Vogue magazines!
I'm comfortable around this bitch, but lemme get loose
You told NXT that you was doin' drive-bys
We ain't seen a big bitch slide on nothin' since Rasputia!
He gon' talk about how I rep a set that's from his state, as if I made a mistake
Nigga, this Six-Deuce Crip
Even the Rams went back to L.A.!
I'm Summer Madness thuggin'
The rest of you niggas, stop runnin'
Yoshi G, I'm a battle rapper now - are you FUCKIN'!?
Now I'mma be back in the second round, 'cause my food isn't done
Rule number 1: don't fuck wit' me
Rule number 2: don't forget Rule number 1
Nigga, early

[Round 1: Real Name Brandon]
I bring the birds out!

See the difference, nigga?

I bring the birds out!
Two Silver Sluggers
You gon' make me empty these
They hit like Mark McGwire
But these is Eagles...
These ain't Cardinals, MVP!
I'm a different breed
I really sock shit
Let you walk away wit' this bread, I'll spin the block quick
Glock lift
He gon' be dyin' to get outta Houston: Deshaun Watson!

[MVP]
Fire
Fire
Fire

(*As the crowd cheers, the air horns blare, and MVP nods in approval in reaction to the bar, members of the two rappers' entourages get into a minor shouting match on stage, which Real Name Brandon quells on his side*)

[Real Name Brandon]
You got one option: run my chip, or I squeeze a .380
I usually have a throwaway - that's law
But I know how they get down in Texas
After I bust, I ain't got no choice but to keep the baby!
You think I ain't bring my bowler to Houston?
Nigga, it's really Glocks in here
Move wrong
Don't get yo' dumb ass shot in here
Show this St. Louis nigga what it's really like...when it get Hot in Herre!
Fuck all that gangsta shit you talkin'
I don't give a fuck where you from, 'cause you don't bleed that
We can really catch a head-up if you need that
I pull somethin' slow out the trunk, it ain't tree sap
All you hear is..."Blah-kita, blah-kita!"
Sound like a speedbag!
Do you know who I am!?
If I get to trippin', he better pray to God that he find his piece
Get smoked like a leaf, and get fired wit' ease
My bitch fat, wit' an extension, one foot like Toby
Before he try it wit' me...
You better try Jesus...before he try it wit' me!
Houston, what up!?
I ain't even come up here to flex wit' it
I just feel I deserve to be on stage wit' these vet niggas
Fans always tryna say I sound like the next nigga
Twork...Suge...Ave...all these different battlers
I know my real name Brandon, but I promise I Prep different!
Aye, I throw a one-two, they gon' have to carry Berry
Lifeless body, they gon' be ready to bury Berry
Shoot up the ceremony, funerals get very scary
These bitches get to singin' in the church like Mary Mary
It's HT-
Rap, nigga!

[Round 2: MVP]
Yo! Yo!

[Real Name Brandon]
(*to his entourage*)
I messed up
I started rappin' my second in the first

[MVP]
Uh, you can find me in St. Louie
Where the gunplay ring all day
Some got jobs, some sell hay
Others just smoke and-

[Crowd]
Fuck all day!

[MVP]
Since the first round of this tournament, they put me as the underdog
I took that as offense
Now we got David vs. Goliath, and we all saw how that shit went
They do a lotta talkin'
My uncle was my best friend before he died as a fiend, so that spot softened
But if he didn't teach me anything, he taught me one thing
And that was to be like a battle rap couple
You gotta handle that Roc(k) wit' Caution!
I come from one quarter, guys
A McChicken wit' cheese made me a small order fri-
Nigga, what you 'bout, 300?
Nah, nigga, you 'bout 290
I'll split his bitch ass down the middle wit' one .45 (145)
You HTK?
Well, this is 'bout as far as it gets
How many pallbearers you plan on havin'?
Nigga, fuck bein' Hard To Kill!
Nigga, you gon' be Hard To Lift!
I just found out that this nigga the cook!
Cuz the cook!
When Geechi put him down wit' EFB, I was like, "Damn, that's fuckin' tough."
'Til I realized EFB stood for "Every Fuckin' Breakfast"
"Every Barbecue"
"Every Brunch"
So you mean to tell me that you was clutchin' the arm for real?
When you the nigga that make sure nobody get close to the barbecue pit
Like, "Nigga, the food ain't done. The food ain't done."
Exactly - guard your GRILL!
After this, y'all bet' not say my name no mo'
I'll have it like when ya mama tell you to "cut that racket off"
'Cause that's some shit that she can't play no mo'
She talkin' about how the music don't got soul
The niggas don't even beg bitches to stay no mo'
So I'm at his windpipe wit' a Jagged Edge
(*gasp*)
Nigga, RNB (R&B) don't sound the same no mo'!
I'm from St. Louis! How quick they forget
I'm tryna figure out which watch I'm finna buy wit' this $25,000...
Shit, I done already picked a Patek!
I'm the same MVP!
(You can't change MVP!)
And as long as this nigga dies...(you can blame MVP!)
It's me again!
I thought Geechi was gon' join into yo' round
Gimme about a year and some change, he gon' see me again
I ain't forgot about him hidin' behind them branches
I got a Draco wit' a wood handle
Just don't bark up the wrong tree again!
I don't give a FUCK that you 6-foot-anything!
Nigga, I done went to war wit' feds
Y'all know the difference between a bully and a Pitbull?
Nigga, my stand got longer legs
Nigga, early!

[Round 2: Real Name Brandon]
Do this nigga got a problem or somethin'!?
'Cause I been dyin' to dump at him
I know we usually give out fair ones
But if he trip, we jumpin' him
Matter fact, I got somethin' hot for everybody that fuck wit' him
You from St. Louis, right?
Cool!
(*chk-chk*) 'Cause I heard Missouri loves company!
It's BAD FOR YOU!

[MVP]
Funny

[Real Name Brandon]
It's bad for you
I was ready to pull a strap on you
The squad say I'm a cancer, 'cause they wanted me to set you up
But to a nigga that's used to scorin', assist (a cyst) is abnormal
I'm lightyears ahead of you- that's crazy
I'm lightyears ahead of you when it comes to this shit
You ain't been through what I been through
You ain't live where I lived
You know the first time I ever smoked a blunt, I was 6!?
You know the first time I ever served a fiend, I was 10!?
How many times my granny said my pops was on vacation when he was doin' a bid!?
How long I wanted to be just like him!?
I'm an animal
God, strike me down if I'm lyin'
And I don't tuck my pride
Niggas be vultures
That's why I let the Desert fly
If my weapon rise, I look the nigga dead in his eyes
He was ready to fight, like we both got hands
Think I, Robot: he ain't see the metal in mine
But I get it...
BUT I GET IT!
BUT I GET IT!
You don't know how the gorillas MOVE out here!
If I go in my bag...
Llamas! Bulldogs! Eagles!
It's a (ZOO OUT HERE!)
As soon as I realized niggas stopped fightin', I went and got me a chop, bro
I ain't 'bout to be out here trainin' like Tyson when I got a custom auto (Cus D'Amato)
Glock-43 like Polamalu
Trigger safety like callin' an audible
Y'all know how to say "respect" in Hawaiian?
All I care about is my hollows (mahalo)
And I know...he don't want that Hector Camacho
If I load, shots change his face like El Chapo
Muchacho, you don't wanna have this convo
Gustavo, get drug off in traffic like Pablo
Did y'all know...that that was an Esco bar (Escobar)?
Drug? Traffic? Did y'all even connect those parts?
I got war wounds
I was taught to respect those scars
I don't know why they'd wanna test L.A. (Tesla)...like electric cars
Is it for shock value?
All my niggas is bred different
Spinnin' my block, I promise you, dawg, it's a dead mission
Ain't no tellin', and we all practice the Second Amendment
That just means we bear arms before we'll bear witness
You'se a bitch, and I don't fear nothin' on two feet
Baby .9, pack a six-inch punch like Bruce Lee
.223s-
.223s!

Shit crazy, huh? I know

.223s! Put you to sleep forever
You don't wanna experience this type of slumber
Glock-17, 19, and a tre-5-7
You a optimist (Optimus)?
I'll transform ya wit' these Prime numbers
I'm a real shooter
I clean all my guns right after I bust it
Invest time in they maintenance
All I know is war and buff it (Warren Buffett)
It's HTK
Rap, nigga

[Round 3: MVP]
Yo, I'm 'bout to cook you so bad tonight that they gon' write you off
Mainly 'cause I'm a Crip like Stephen Hawking
But ain't never been the type to talk
You took that Fairly OddParents bar from Royalty
On mamas!
I knew it was somethin' fishy about this biter...
This supposed to be Piranha!
He be like...
"They don't know how we move out here
When I go in my bag, Llamas, B-"
Nigga, who the fuck is you tryna fool out here?
I'm talkin' to you, punk
Don't give a fuck about you goin' into a bag
Nigga, I done tucked a new buck!
Got me feelin' like Joe Exotic - PAUSE! - but I will fuck a ZOO UP!
The stock and the chop' should go about...right here
(*MVP taps his right shoulder for emphasis*)
Makes sense
Y'all ain't seen a nigga control a Drac' (Drake) this good since J. Prince!
I'll make 5 drop!
I'm not losin' to a nigga that can rap eight bars and don't say shit!
Not on my watch!
'Cause I was at the crib fuckin' bitches until they squirt!
I don't know nothin' about a DRY SPOT!
I'm flexin'!
One of the best to do
Headshot! My opp a vegetable
You look like Big Black from MTV, so guess what?
I'mma Rob the nigga next to you
Wit' a Bulldog, skatin'!
I done made money from drugs! Cakin'!
I came to Houston just so I can take some lean back like The Matrix!
This...
I air a nickel!
I'm prepared to get you!
The whole time he think he about to win...
I'm 'bout to fuck Brandon (brandin') up like Karen Civil!
I get work out, baby!
You don't even get good until yo' second rounds
But I'll bet you heard I'm crazy
Is that why his haymakers seem so premature?
'Cause he wasn't ready during the first try, baby!?
Nigga...
Early, nigga! Let's go

[Round 3: Real Name Brandon]
Rosa Lee Daniels, I see you, baby!
We actually on the Summer Madness stage, Granny! We made it!
I remember I told you I was gon' be a battle rapper
You ain't really get it, but...you said, and I quote:
"I know you can succeed if you try."
I just didn't know, two years later, I was gon' die inside
February 28th, 2019
Worst day of my life
I didn't even go to work
Shit shook my pride
I ain't even look alive
I got that phone call, all I could hear was my mother cry
I said, "Mama, what you said?"
My mama sighed
She said, "Your granny's gone"
And then I cried
That shit brought my world to a screeching halt
Y'all think I'm worried about Smack callin' time?
It's all divine
I just wanted to say that...Granny, we did it
You know I woulda killed anybody for you
This ain't gon' be no different
We used to go to Chan's Market
She would buy me my favorite pop
These is memories I keep still
It feels nostalgic, 'cause to this day, the can I choose to pop is a Springfield!
Ask D-9!
You know how many niggas wish my granny was still alive!?
'Cause she done told me to bring my Black ass in the house...and I'm outside!
You know how many niggas still got they teeth 'cause of Rosa Lee?
You know how many times she had to run out the house 'cause a nigga was screamin' "Get him off of me!"?
She used to chase me while I chased another nigga across the street
At that point, I was fasho' beatin' yo' ass 'cause I knew I was gon' get my ass beat!

(*The crowd starts chanting "3-0!" for Brandon*)

At that point, I was fasho' beatin' yo' ass 'cause I knew I was gon' get my ass beat!
Pasadena raised gang-bangers and athletes
Niggas was hoppin' off the train fightin'
We used to run it where the track meet!
Don't start no shit, 'cause once it's up, it's up
You gon' need protective custody for everyone that you love
It's nice in L.A.!
If that ain't where you from
Takin' that shot gon' have yo' bitch in Jeopardy!...like White Men Can't Jump
I'm phenomenal!
One body blow break his abdominal
When I plant it (planet), the amount of pain he gon' feel is astronomical
You gon' need a hospital!
For the greens, I'm up here breakin' bones!
I'll cook him like Grandmama do
Llama shoot!
Up close and personal, I'mma do what I gotta do
I don't mind puttin' this bitch on the blade like a prostitute
I don't know how this gon' end, just know I got a box for you
Unless you can make that paper work (paperwork) like Ah Di Boom!

(*The crowd starts chanting "3-0!" even louder for Brandon*)

I be ready to make examples outta niggas!
Niggas be talkin' 'bout "Kick doors"
I be like, "Damn, it couldn't have been me."
Come to where I'm at lookin' for Chip
End up pressin' the wrong button and the can' gon' dispense like a vending machine
Extended clip wit' a beam
He gon' die chasin' the tag
Come to my crib? At night?
Pfft...the whole house look like laser tag!
Y'all been waitin'...
I go by my real name, 'cause that's as real as it gets!
Authentic! I'mma show you how to market this shit
Most niggas will do anything for a chip!
Kunta Kinte: I'll never change my name for a whip!
It's HTK!