Optimistic and Elegant

INTRO:
Ladies and gentlemen!
Let her hear it!
The one and only black unicorn,
Miss Tiffany Haddish!

[APPLAUSE]

TIFFANY HADDISH:
What's up, LA?

I'm feeling so good, I'm feeling there's nothing but opportunity in the world right now, 'cuz I'm ovulating and stuff.
And I smell good credit in the room. It smells like inheritances and everything, what's up? Yes! I'm feeling super sexy because this background in here is so beautiful. Isn't it beautiful?

I feel so classy and elegant, I just want to crip walk in this mother.
Classier than a motherf*cker. Elegant as sh*t. Sorry, I just really wanted to be ratchet for ten seconds.

Feels so good though, I feel like I've come a long way. I love doing these shows. We still call it in the hood, but we're not quite in the hood, we're hood adjacent right now. I love it, I love it, I love it...

And I just feel like, you know, now I'm a stand-up comedian. You know, I started out as a model. I was a model, y'all. At the Slauson Swap Meet, I be modeling there. For 15 years I been modeling there, booth L7, like what! I got all the best ratchet poses.

1...
Pose 2...
Pose 3...
That's the one you sending pooky in jail! One hour photo in the swap meet.
There's a lot of us in here that took pictures there.

Thought you was cute as shit, b*tch. I'm finna put this in my binder, b*tch. So everybody can see how cute I was that day, you had a little airbrush background and sh*t.

Why every dude wanna show their throat? Can't even see your face, homeboy. We got that throat though. Rockin' that throat.