Grade 8

[Verse 1]
I did all my acid in Grade 8
That was the old days, when acid had names
Flavours, as it were
Windowpane, Orange Sunshine

But, then things shifted
Acid stopped having names
And chips became flavoured
That's progress?

I can remember a time when you could get Orange Sunshine
Windowpane, or Purple Microdot
But the only chips you could get were plain
Or, in some stores, rippled

Cut to the chase

[Verse 2]
I did all my acid in Grade 8
I gobbled it right quick
I couldn't get enough of it

I did all my Southern Comfort in Grade 9
One bottle: Ooh, what a night
This is how Janis died?
What a sickly way to go
And kinda sweet, too, ya know?

Cut to the chase

[Verse 3]
I did all my acid in Grade 8
I did all my hash in Grade 7
Thought I was going to say "10", didn'tcha?
Uh-uh

The thing I hate about hash
Apart from the revolting taste
Was the way it made your eyes stare inside
Your tiny little body
Just sittin' there, listening to Uriah Heep
A little of that goes a long way
Same as acid, I guess you could say

Cut to the chase

[Verse 4]
I did all my acid in Grade 8
It might have got low for me
But I never did eat no vegetarian chili
It might have got low for me
But I never did consume the Eastern philosophies
Which I used to think, you know, was Eastern Canada
Fishermen's philosophies, as in "Ah, the old sea"

Cut to the chase

[Verse 5]
I loved all my love in high school
I gave all my love to those three separate, cruel, cruel queens
Shelly Warwick, Susan Moriarty, Tammy Gorgonchuck
And now I walk around in a hashless, acidless, un-Southern-Comfortable haze
And as I do, I think about my income tax
Hm