Channel 0

[Skit]
I'm boreder than a motherfucker
Man, it ain't shit to do, man
Motherfuckin' curfew got it motherfuckin' bored
Man, this Devil's Night shit is fuckin' up, man
We got that free cable shit, man
You wanna watch some TV and shit?
Fuck it
Well, what we gon' watch, man?
What's up, man?
*knocking*
Man, who the fuck is that?
*doorbell*
Man, go answer the door, man
See who the fuck that is
God damn
*knocking* *doorbell*
It's that motherfucker Slim
Man, who told his ass to come over here, man?
He better have some buds
Man, what the fuck you want?
I know your moms ain't here, what y'all doin'?
Just watchin' some TV, man
Come on, you gonna watch some TV?
Man, I know you got some buds
Yeah, I got one or two
Alright, fuck it, man, lemme just roll that shit up, man
You know, smokе a joint, watch some cable, come on
Givе me a lighter
Ay, dog, hand me that remote control
And we're back, this is Don Wilson, host of Quiz Master
Our first contestant is Deb Rosenberg
Man, turn that shit off
*static*
[?] Margaret!
*static*
Our top story today: fires, Devil's Night
October thirtieth, a record amount of fires were set today-

[Spoken]
*static*
We now return to our documentary, Season of the Pumpkin
Amongst other terrifying colonies, the House of Krazees consists of three of the most horrifying humans known to man
A mysterious trinity of unexplainable subhuman cannibalistic behavior, a mass of evil that boggles the mind beyond the point of extinction. Let us analyze
Mr. Bones, born October 29th, 1975, Night of the Demon
Believed to be the Anti-Christ, also having psychic powers
Many suspect him as the forthcoming apocalypse
Hektic, born October 30th, 1973, the Night of the Devil
Believed to be a master of black magic and other occult practices
Also believed to have the power to wake the dead
R.O.C., born October 31st, 1972, Night of the Witch
Believed to be a master of witchcraft and voodoo
Rituals of cannibalism and mutilations have condemned him to be the forsaken
These three psychotically demented children of the beast
Are believed to be buried in a pumpkin patch
Sightings have been reported
But no one knows for sure if they are alive or dead

[Outro]
Then, he drugged his victims, then strangled them, and finally dismembered their body-
Only parts of the corpse had been removed-
Only parts of the corpse had been removed-