Marceline The Vampire Queen (Script)

TITLE SEQUENCE

CUT TO: EXT. DESERT, DAY

Cut to a close-up shot of Marceline’s face.

MARCELINE: Come on, Marce. It'll only hurt for a second.

Marceline is shown sitting in the shade of a tree in a desert. An umbrella lies just out of reach in the sunlight.

MARCELINE: That's nothing in the face of eternity.

She reaches for the umbrella. Her fingers begin to melt away in the sunlight. She shrieks and recoils. Her fingers heal in the shade.

MARCELINE: A second hurts really bad in the face of eternity. But only for a moment.

She reaches for the umbrella thrice more, shrieking and recoiling each time.

MARCELINE: Wait. I have an even better idea.

She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a bottle of sunscreen.

MARCELINE: Sunscreen. SPF 10 million.

She applies what remains of the bottle to her hands and rubs it around.

MARCELINE: Hmm! I have exactly enough to reach my umbrella.

A sudden gust of wind blows the umbrella away. Marceline face-palms and bends over.

CUT TO: EXT. PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM’S CABIN, DAY

Peppermint Butler is chopping wood in the yard and laughing. He enters the cabin. After a moment, Marceline enters the frame carrying the tree from the desert and using it to shade herself. Inside the cabin, Princess Bubblegum is sitting on a stool, reading a book. Peppermint Butler approaches her.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: You really like chopping wood, huh?

PEPPERMINT BUTLER: I'm not chopping wood. I made a toothpick from the ancient elm. See?

He holds up the toothpick.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Oh.

Suddenly, Marceline sends the tree through the window, sending glass everywhere and knocking Princess Bubblegum off of her stool. Marceline emerges from the leaves, injured.

MARCELINE: Uh, knock, knock.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: What the dip, Marceline?

MARCELINE: Sorry, it was supposed to be a joke. Actually, I have something really serious to ask. I want you to do the procedure, the one we talked about.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: I'm sorry, but I don't think you'd make a good blonde.

MARCELINE: No, not that. I don't want to be a vampire anymore.

Princess Bubblegum gasps.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Oh, my globness.

MARCELINE: You said you were working on a cure, right?

Peppermint Butler begins cleaning up the broken glass.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Well, the machine is built and the serums are ready, but are you sure you want to do this?

MARCELINE: I'm sure. Some bad things happened to me when I was little. When I became a vampire, I was just a messed-up kid. Now it's 1,000 years later, and I'm still messed up.

Peppermint Butler nods.

MARCELINE: I don't want to spend eternity like this, with this emptiness. I want to grow up.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Okay. Let's do this.

Cut to the lab under the cabin. Princess Bubblegum prepares a serum.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: This means someday you'll die. You know that, right?

Marceline drinks the serum.

MARCELINE: I guess that will be my last adventure.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Marceline... I'm so very, very, very excited to test my new lab out on you.

Princess Bubblegum begins writing something on a clipboard.

MARCELINE: Well, don't get all sentimental on me.

Princess Bubblegum puts down her clipboard and turns around. She pats a nearby machine.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Come on over here.

Marceline sits down in the machine. Princess Bubblegum approaches her.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: You know I care about you. I think you're making the right choice.

Princess Bubblegum pets Marceline’s hair.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Your natural life span is going to be richer and fuller than you can imagine.

Princess Bubblegum lays Marceline down in the machine.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: And someday, when you die, I'll be the one who puts you in the ground.

Princess Bubblegum closes the machine on Marceline.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: But, you know, this operation might not even work.

Princess Bubblegum, now wearing safety goggles, pulls down a massive lever. Marceline yells out. Light from the lab shines so brightly that it illuminates the area around the cabin.

MARCELINE: This tickles really bad!

The lights go down. Princess Bubblegum opens the machine.

MARCELINE: Did it work?

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Well, I sucked all your vampire effluvium into this bucket.

She gestures to a bucket of black goo on the ground.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Possibly we won't know the results for a couple of days. In the meantime, you need to get plenty of rest.

She places a blanket on Marceline.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: I'll check your vitals in the morning.

MARCELINE: Thanks, P. Brains.

Marceline immediately falls asleep. Cut to a shot of the cabin. The screen fades to black, then shows Marceline floating in a black abyss. Her teeth elongate and begin sucking something. A heartbeat is heard. She jumps up and looks around, seeing a massive heart in front of her. The heart transforms into an emaciated cow, which moos.

MARCELINE: No!

She pulls on her teeth, which break off. Her whole body falls apart into segments. Each segment, other than her head, transforms into a dark creature with glowing green eyes. The creatures circle around her and reach for her. She screams. The shot transitions from her screaming in the dream to her screaming while awake. She finds herself tripped over a wooden fence in a field.

MARCELINE: Huh?

A wide shot shows the moon descending. The camera pans to a nearby village, where dawn is arriving. Time passes and the sun rises. Cloud Dance exits his house with a bucket.

CLOUD DANCE: It's breakfast time for my sweet babies.

He gasps and drops his bucket.

CLOUD DANCE: Sweet babies!

He pulls a phone out of his pocket and dials a number.

CLOUD DANCE: Operator, put me through to Finn and Jake. It's an emergency!

CUT TO: EXT. VILLAGE, DAY

Cut to a close-up shot of two puncture marks. A wide shot shows Finn and Jake standing next to Cloud Dance, an injured cow, and a group of villagers. Jake is taking notes on a notepad.

JAKE: Victim's lost a lot of blood. Clean entry wounds. It's an expert job.

CLOUD DANCE: Poor Miss Baby. She used to be my best cream cow. But now her milk is nonfat. And Nanette, my beautiful calf, is decaf!

He gestures to a similarly injured calf nearby.

JAKE: That's terrible!

VILLAGER: Every farm in our village was attacked! Not a goat or a cow or a duck left un-sucked.

JAKE: Well, I've heard enough. Come on, Finn. Let's go arrest Marceline.

Jake walks away. The villagers cheer.

FINN: Wait a minute. We don't even know if Marceline did this.

JAKE: That's right. I forgot about Ooo's extensive vampire community.

Jake makes a buzzer noise.

JAKE: Come on!

FINN: Yeah, but we need to conduct a proper investigation.

JAKE: I know that. Ain't no rookie.

FINN: All right, come on. I'll let you be bad cop.

JAKE: I'm already bad cop. Okay, listen up, hay seeds. Me and my partner will interrogate the suspect police-style. Meanwhile, you sharpen up your pitchforks mob-style.

VILLAGERS: Yeah!

FINN: Hey, man, that's not right. Marceline's our friend.

He puts his hand on Jake’s shoulder.

JAKE: Physical contact! Officer resisting arrest! Boom!

He flips Finn over.

FINN: Ow!

The villagers cheer.

CUT TO: INT. PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM’S CABIN, DAY

Marceline is sitting in a chair, wrapped in Princess Bubblegum’s blanket.

MARCELINE: Oh, woof. Marceline wanna go ny-ny.

Peppermint Butler is sweeping. Princess Bubblegum is looking at a test tube.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Don't go ny-ny, Marci. I'm worried.

MARCELINE: For real? Why?

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Well, the process was experimental. Like, are there side effects? What happened in your sleep last night? Nobody on record has ever cured vampirism, unless you count killing vampires as curing. In that case, you've cured tons, right?

MARCELINE: Tons is an understatement.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: That schnoz was nasty. Nasty times.

There’s a knock at the door.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Hey, cover up. The sun's hitting the door.

MARCELINE: I'm still undead?

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: We don't know yet. So just chill.

Princess Bubblegum opens the door to find Finn and Jake.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Oh, hey, guys. How you doing?

FINN: Jake did excessive force on me.

He holds up his bruised forearms.

JAKE: I'm sorry.

He kisses Finn’s arm.

JAKE: Let me kiss it!

Jake begins trying to kiss Finn’s arms more. Finn laughs and tries to avoid Jake’s mouth.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Hurry up. Get in here.

Finn and Jake enter. Princess Bubblegum closes the door behind them.

JAKE: You done it this time, Marceline. You sucked the life out of defenseless animals!

MARCELINE: I ain't done nothing.

JAKE: You think I'm buying that boom-boom mountain?

MARCELINE: Oh, get some proof.

JAKE: You want proof? Look.

Jake punches the ceiling.

PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM: Whoa.

JAKE: Proof how off I'm gonna go if you don't confess.

FINN: Yo, chill, Jake.

JAKE: I'm wilin' out!

Jake shrinks down. Finn sits on him.

FINN: Listen, Marci, I can barely control this guy, and the villagers are getting crazy. They want to run you over with a wagon, and I'm offering you a way out.

PEPPERMINT BUTLER: Hey, dillweeds, I just swept the place.

JAKE: Sorry.

MARCELINE: Finn, be real for a second.

FINN: All right.

MARCELINE: Look into my eyes, man. I didn't do it.

They both stare at each other for a few moments.

FINN: To be honest, it looks like you're not sure if you did it.

MARCELINE: Okay, I'm not sure! Something weird happened last night. I had a weird dream about stuff.

JAKE: Dream stuff always means something.

FINN: We'll figure this out, Marci, together. We promise.

They both hug her.

MARCELINE: Thanks, Finn.

PEPPERMINT BUTLER: That's cool, you guys, but clean this mess, also, you bums.

The camera zooms to reveal a villager watching through the window.

SMALL VILLAGER: He's a gob-gleebin' vampire hugger! We got to tell the town!

The villager is revealed to be very small. They’re standing on another less-small sized villager, who is standing on a third, normal sized villager.

SMALL VILLAGER: Book it, Terry! Run, Terry! Run!

Terry, the largest villager, begins sprinting towards the town.

CUT TO: INT. LAUNDRY HOUSE, DAY

Cut to an establishing shot of the laundry house.

VILLAGER 1: How long do we have to stay in the laundry house, Cloud Dance?

Cut inside the laundry house. The villagers are gathered inside.

CLOUD DANCE: Until Finn and Jake avert the threat. We can't afford to lose more livestock. We're struggling as is to keep our kids fed. Let's just stay in here until the dirty vampire gets what's coming to her.

As he speaks, we see shots of the struggling villagers.

VILLAGER 2: But I want to bop her in the nose!

CLOUD DANCE: Hey, now, it's too dangerous, okay? A small towns, we gotta stay close. Each of us play a vital role, and I can't afford losing any of you. Not you, Clubhouse Sandy, or you, Seed Man, or even you, Sandwich Paul.

SENSEI PAUL: Sensei Paul.

CLOUD DANCE: Let's leave the fighting to the fighters, okay, Paul?

SENSEI PAUL: That hurts. You don't know I teach aikido.

Terry and the two villagers on top of him burst through the door.

TERRY: Finn's been turned!

VILLAGER 3: Wha...?

SMALL VILLAGER: He does the vampire's bidding.

CLOUD DANCE: Well, there it is. Tonight we burn the beast Marceline!

The villagers all cheer.

CUT TO: EXT. FIELD, NIGHT

Finn, Jake, and Marceline are investigating a field at night with flashlights.

MARCELINE: Woof. I can barely stand up. Look at this. It's my new dance.

Her legs wobble.

MARCELINE: It's called, "I got arthritis."

She collapses on the ground.

MARCELINE: Ugh. The end.

FINN: You should have hung back with P.B.

MARCELINE: But I've got a bad feeling like you guys are gonna die without me.

FINN: Dang, Marci. Have some faith. Geez.

JAKE: Guys, look!

He points his flashlight. A dark creature with glowing eyes is sucking the blood from a mooing cow. The creature growls, causing Jake to scream. The creature absconds.

FINN: Get it!

They both run after the creature. The creature sulks through the forest. Finn and Jake scream and wave their flashlights around. They arrive at a clearing full of dirt and skulls.

FINN: You see it?

JAKE: No. But what's that?

They spot a cave. A dog stands outside and falls over.

FINN: Must be its filthy lair.

They begin walking, but Jake whimpers and puts his hand on Finn.

FINN: What's wrong?

JAKE: Remember how I said my fear of vampires was based on ignorance?

FINN: Yeah.

JAKE: Well, I think that revelation was actually based on true ignorance.

FINN: So you're scared of vampires again?

JAKE: Yeah, man, don't be ignorant.

FINN: Come on.

JAKE: Okay, but I'm gonna hold on to your shirt.

They enter the cave. Cut inside. The cave is lined with emaciated creatures.

FINN: Look at these poor babies. What's happening to them?

JAKE: Y-y-you tell me, m-man.

A cow moans weakly.

FINN: I think they're in the process of being turned, eh?

JAKE: Oh, glob. Something big just dropped in my gut.

FINN: Hang in there, bro.

JAKE: I can't be here, man. It's too real.

FINN: Wait, you hear that? Listen.

They hear a quiet sucking noise.

FINN: There!

The creature is draining a horse of blood.

HORSE: A little help?

Jake screams and faints.

FINN: Jake!

The creature runs out of the cave.

FINN: Hey, get back here!

Finn chases after the creature. Cut to him arriving in the town.

FINN: Dang! Lost him! Marci? Hey, Marci, you still out here?

CLOUD DANCE: She's still out here, all right.

Cloud Dance is in the distance, holding a make-shift mob weapon.

FINN: Oh, hey, man. Did you see a scary beast go by? I chased it out here, but it got away.

CLOUD DANCE: Oh, we found that beast, and we took care of her real nice. You vampire hugger!

FINN: Wait, what?

CLOUD DANCE: Lookum yonder.

He points towards the village.

FINN: What the blood?

In the distance, Marceline is tied to the windmill on the laundry house. The villagers have formed a mob and are surrounding the house, chanting, “Vamp!” Marceline struggles against the ropes.

MARCELINE: You dumb bumbags!

Finn gasps.

CLOUD DANCE: Now look at the other yonder.

FINN: Huh?

Cloud Dance points the other direction. Finn turns and sees the sun rising in the distance.

FINN: Oh, fudge! You're sick, man! What's wrong with you?

CLOUD DANCE: What? I'm the good guy here.

FINN: You're gonna explode my friend.

VILLAGERS: Blow her up! Blow her up!

CLOUD DANCE: Oh, flip, you're right! This is way messed up. Run, Finn! You gotta beat the sun!

Finn yelps.

CLOUD DANCE: Go, Finn! Go!

Finn charges into the village as the sun’s light outpaces him.

FINN: Aah!

He trips and falls.

FINN: Marceline, no!

The sunlight continues approaching.

MARCELINE: Don't let anyone read my diaries! Burn them, Finn! They're embarrassi-

Her words turn into a scream as the sun reaches her. The screen goes white.

END CREDITS