Cynical

How can you call yourself a friend
When you’re jumping on a trend
And even when I try to defend
You still try and now recommend
That I was being super ruthless
I’m flying high like my name is toothless
I’m in my zone, leave me be
I’m higher now, let them see
That all the bullshit you’ve fed me
Has been turned into rhymes
It’s my time, I hear the clock chimes
I’m now wasting time spitting lines
Past and the present, what’s a future
When your cut is healed by my suture
And now I’m always up ‘fore the rooster
Im taking the W but still the loser
And i never wanted to lose ya
But I ended up losing myself
Put my pain on a sale shelf
And pretend I’m now better
Well sorry, but I’m now fed up
And all this has now led up
To a point where pain meets track
Where the pain was I now lack
The willpower to go on, so be it
Release the pain, so I free it
But I’ve lost a bit of me, that’s true
And now I’ve got all this anger for you
I’m now lustful for revenge
I’m now breaking my amends
Can’t buy a house or a Benz
But I still can’t make friends
And they say it’s my fault
Take the songs out the vault
Release a new single, no hits
I don’t get into fights, no hits
I release a new song so quick
Then regret it but say it’s great
And I’m delaying my own fate
Knowing I’ll never make it
I’m sorry but I can’t fake it
Make 1 pound, well I’ll take it
But lose it in the process
Now wasting all this progress
All my grades now mean nothing
But it isn’t worth stopping
Get the new track for dropping
You ain’t in my picture, I’m cropping
I’m out of my league, I’m foreign
And I need to go do touring
I’m never up in the morning
I spend all night making music
But even this all makes me lose it
Releasing anger as a vessel
I’m boiling up like a kettle
I wear my skin like it’s metal
But I’m more made of paper
I’m not a criminal, but a taker
And you’re not a fan, a faker
I’m just a musical maker
Trying to change the game
When I’m stuck in my own lane
Pretending I own these styles
When I won’t even go miles
Everything seems so visceral
I’m always so miserable
But Pain is now visual
But I’m still so invisible
But I feel so invincible
That’s really so typical
My pain is now so lyrical
I had to put up with this ridicule
Now they’re all so proud of me
Now they all stand around of me
I’m lost, but don’t wanna be found you see
The only pain was grounding me
Now the pain is having any emotion
But I have all this devotion
To my music, it’s all so true
And I wanna change the view
Around my music and synical
But I’m still so cynical
Of being able to make it
I won’t make it
I can’t make it